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ShacadiaShay
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Post subject: FanFic  Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 6:13 pm |
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| Forum Seventh Year |
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Joined: Wed Mar 11, 2009 11:35 pm
Posts: 476
Location: Australia
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so i'm writing a fanfiction story at the moment and i thought i'd share it with you. it's my first fanfiction story. Broken Wings, Beautiful Things by GothicKitten91 Summery: Hermione had shared with Severus her heart, now we see how difficult it is to move on.. this is her life after the war as she finally pushes past the pain of her loss and moves on. Teaching at Hogwarts as the new Potions Mistress, will she ever be whole? http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6827699/1/b ... _bthings_b
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Daughter of Dark
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Post subject: Re: FanFic Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 11:47 pm |
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Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2011 10:11 am
Posts: 61
Location: Somewhere Freezing!
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very good. I liked  You are very talented writer!
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Kaori Sakuragi, 6th year Ravenclaw
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ShacadiaShay
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Post subject: Re: FanFic Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 12:11 am |
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| Forum Seventh Year |
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Joined: Wed Mar 11, 2009 11:35 pm
Posts: 476
Location: Australia
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Nikblade
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Post subject: Re: FanFic Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 3:59 am |
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| Forum Troll King |
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Joined: Tue Oct 10, 2006 12:00 am
Posts: 1801
Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
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You should totally have a scene from Harry's point of view so the readers can understand what he's going through: His mom's deceased, 38-year old stalker had been sleeping with and impregnated his best friend's 16 or 17-year old girlfriend (even if he'd knocked her up during the last week of his life she wouldn't have turned 18 for another four and a half months). Distraught, he loses his position as auror for some unknown offense (likely drinking considering everything else that's happened). His only recourse is to teach a cursed class at a high school. That the once-legendary Boy Who Lived can't even manage to get the Head of House position over a girl who was knocked up by a professor while attending that very school nearly 12 years ago is only salt in the wound.
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Kristina
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Post subject: Re: FanFic Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:28 am |
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Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2007 12:00 am
Posts: 555
Location: The middle of Freaking Nowhere, Nebraska
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Nikblade wrote: his best friend's 16 or 17-year old girlfriend (even if he'd knocked her up during the last week of his life she wouldn't have turned 18 for another four and a half months). During Hermione's 6th year she would have been 17 as her birthday was in September, so during the final battle she was 18 years old and only a couple months from turning 19. Great start Shay 
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Nikblade
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Post subject: Re: FanFic Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 9:55 am |
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| Forum Troll King |
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Joined: Tue Oct 10, 2006 12:00 am
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Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
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Kristina wrote: Nikblade wrote: his best friend's 16 or 17-year old girlfriend (even if he'd knocked her up during the last week of his life she wouldn't have turned 18 for another four and a half months). During Hermione's 6th year she would have been 17 as her birthday was in September, so during the final battle she was 18 years old and only a couple months from turning 19. You're correct. I guess it all depends on when Snape got with Granger, then. Maybe while Harry and Ron were pulling the sword from the water? Which would mean Snape had been using Lily's patronus as a diversion to get some alone time with his beloved. Ironic, considering what the locket said to Ron that night. This took place in December of '98, so she would have been 18. _________________
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ShacadiaShay
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Post subject: Re: FanFic Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 6:36 pm |
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| Forum Seventh Year |
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Joined: Wed Mar 11, 2009 11:35 pm
Posts: 476
Location: Australia
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thats the thing with fanfiction. you can change things you want to change.
due to all her use of the time turner Hermione was even older then she should have been. its complicated. use your imagination.
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MoreThanThree
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Post subject: Re: FanFic Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 6:41 pm |
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Joined: Tue Aug 10, 2010 3:06 am
Posts: 740
Location: California
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ShacadiaShay wrote: thats the thing with fanfiction. you can change things you want to change. Is it wrong that I imagined the cast replaced by a jolly band of penguins? _________________ 
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ShacadiaShay
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Post subject: Re: FanFic Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 7:28 pm |
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| Forum Seventh Year |
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Joined: Wed Mar 11, 2009 11:35 pm
Posts: 476
Location: Australia
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um... if thats how you really wish to see them i guess its ok
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Skullcleaver
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Post subject: Re: FanFic Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 2:06 am |
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Joined: Sat Aug 16, 2008 12:00 am
Posts: 829
Location: In U'r r00mz, watchin yo screenz!
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Kingsean12 wrote: Is it wrong that I imagined the cast replaced by a jolly band of penguins? +1 XD
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Daughter of Dark
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Post subject: Re: FanFic Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 2:30 am |
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Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2011 10:11 am
Posts: 61
Location: Somewhere Freezing!
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Kingsean12 wrote: Is it wrong that I imagined the cast replaced by a jolly band of penguins? That's just scary!
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Kaori Sakuragi, 6th year Ravenclaw
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West
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Post subject: Re: FanFic Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 11:15 pm |
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Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 3:40 pm
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I got like a chapter or so in and quit. Sorry, no offense meant, but the story sorta repulses me and it is too confusing especially since its hard to get a hold of who the past characters are now. For instance, Harry calling her 'Mione. Them calling the Weasley's the "tribe" I just don't get it.
I agree fanfictions can be anything you want but there is a point where it goes from a different version of the story to 'What the hell is this?'
Once again, Constructive Criticism, not meant to offend.
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West Coltern:7th Year Ravenclaw EXPELLED
Steven Walker:7th Year Gryffindor
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Nikblade
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Post subject: Re: FanFic Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 4:58 am |
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Joined: Tue Oct 10, 2006 12:00 am
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Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
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West wrote: I got like a chapter or so in and quit. Sorry, no offense meant, but the story sorta repulses me and it is too confusing especially since its hard to get a hold of who the past characters are now. For instance, Harry calling her 'Mione. Them calling the Weasley's the "tribe" I just don't get it.
I agree fanfictions can be anything you want but there is a point where it goes from a different version of the story to 'What the hell is this?'
Once again, Constructive Criticism, not meant to offend. Don't read much fanfiction, do you? _________________
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ShacadiaShay
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Post subject: Re: FanFic Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:17 am |
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| Forum Seventh Year |
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Joined: Wed Mar 11, 2009 11:35 pm
Posts: 476
Location: Australia
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Nikblade wrote: West wrote: I got like a chapter or so in and quit. Sorry, no offense meant, but the story sorta repulses me and it is too confusing especially since its hard to get a hold of who the past characters are now. For instance, Harry calling her 'Mione. Them calling the Weasley's the "tribe" I just don't get it.
I agree fanfictions can be anything you want but there is a point where it goes from a different version of the story to 'What the hell is this?'
Once again, Constructive Criticism, not meant to offend. Don't read much fanfiction, do you? I agree lol. In answer to the tribe part. tribe means large group and its the only thing i could thing of to explain just how large the family is. Yes to begin with its hard to see who the characters are and all but, when you start reading a book you don't fully know the characters till the end. anyways, thank you for your honesty i don't get a lot of constructive criticism. its either a flame or a useless (but sweet comment) like 'i like this story.' i mean yeah that's nice but what do you like about it?
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Yendys
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Post subject: Re: FanFic Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 11:25 am |
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Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 12:58 pm
Posts: 2008
Location: MD, USA
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Nikblade wrote: West wrote: I got like a chapter or so in and quit. Sorry, no offense meant, but the story sorta repulses me and it is too confusing especially since its hard to get a hold of who the past characters are now. For instance, Harry calling her 'Mione. Them calling the Weasley's the "tribe" I just don't get it.
I agree fanfictions can be anything you want but there is a point where it goes from a different version of the story to 'What the hell is this?'
Once again, Constructive Criticism, not meant to offend. Don't read much fanfiction, do you? This is pretty much why I almost never read fanfiction. Though, I will admit to being quite impressed with Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, at least as far as I got into it(50~ chapters).
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