Unfortunately, this simple fact is something many seem to have forgotten. We'd like to keep it going forever after all, wouldn't we? What we have here together to me is at its core a big, shared story.
At this point, I guess I'll be closing the book on my part of it, for a number of reasons. As well as acknowledging and taking down the veil of silence on the pink elephants in the room, and I'd be doing a disservice by just vanishing instead.
Above all else, I'm sorry I started another plot and couldn't complete it. It was a hypocritical thing of me to do, but as time went on, it became nearly impossible to actually move forward with that story. 5 out of 6 wanted the same old one-off party every night instead? Well, I won't interfere, you got it. Enjoy. I won't lie, those can be ridiculously fun and some of my best RP memories have come from that... but thanks to not being able to have a positive experience as Ana anymore, it wasn't working out for me.
Now skip to the
-- and the last couple paragraphs if you don't want to read more rant... I'll understand.
Which brings me to another point, one that could be a great help for anybody who happens to stumble across this. At some point, all of our stories here will end, it's unavoidable. That doesn't mean we have to leave our "book" hanging, dangling loose pages without a back cover. It's one of the worst things that can possibly happen in an RP situation like this, and at some point I wonder if I'm the only one who finds it much nicer to close things out properly. Retire the story! Have your character graduate, or move on to otherwise bigger and better things! I'd like to have been able to do this more smoothly with mine, but lack of communication made it impossible. Everybody has to quit someday, don't make it hurtful to those who aren't. You know who you are, and there's more than one of you.
DMs can be guilty of this too, with their plots, and again I apologize for doing the same. I should've known better than to start a story so ambitious when not only could the population not support it, but also while my own drive was dwindling. I had a great time with the Challenge before that, though... and in all honesty, those who had fun with that should consider reading this.
http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=001901 Foul language ahead, though.
And so that leads me to another reason for my departure. I've ignored it for a long time because I was having a fun time nonetheless, but it contributed as something that might've turned things around otherwise.
I have never, not even once, been able to properly participate in any sort of DM interaction that was not a quick one-nighter. In all the time I've played, it hasn't remotely happened. To put this in perspective, according to the record of those who have played at all within the past month, my character was in second place for total cumulative playtime. It was always PC relations that kept me showing up, and I'm completely convinced that with good RP among players, that DM interaction was relatively unimportant in comparison. The problem arises when both are broken.
Perhaps it was intended to happen recently, and came close... but it was stolen away just the same. There's a number of not-so-nice words I could use to describe both the specific players and DMs involved in these sorts of happenings, but if an example is needed, I'd point to a less recent one than the one I was thinking of: that of the big LAM plot which was when my experience as a player really started to go downhill. And here I pull no punches: thanks for completely ignoring both IC and OOC dedication and continued attempts to participate in that. It got to the point where I was mentally cheering when allowed to get a little callback during the finale that ultimately meant nothing towards what was going on. Most of the time during the rest of the plot, I was RPing at a wall.
Speaking of walls, if anybody's made it this far in the wall of text, I appreciate the caring and invite any PMs. I promise I won't bite the way this post does, but at the same time I'm not sure if I can expect any since that hasn't happened sooner. Don't really blame you either, because it wouldn't be fun and I'd like everybody here to be able to keep going and have a nice time until they've decided to go too.
--Enjoy it while you can, because this game won't last forever. Population's dwindling, and without any upcoming HP occasion for a new player rush combined with the yearing freeze, I don't see it getting any better anytime too soon. I considered a new character briefly, but those who still regularly play don't exactly have room to RP with random new kids, nor is there a sizable amount of similar running around in my time slot. I'm convinced that character would end up sitting alone and purposeless pretty much constantly. Maybe the summer, or something, we'll see. I wanted to become purely a DM for a while too, but the transient nature of such a thing combined with my bitterness just wasn't holding me as well as I wanted it to.
Not many options anymore, but don't think I haven't appreciated every nicer time we've had. There's good memories. And though everyone's made their own mistakes, I'd especially like to thank Calan, Ree, and Yendys for being highly supportive and a ton of help. Drado too, but he gets the finger and copious other rude gestures along with it for not being able to spare the 5 minutes to let me know he was gone, so yeah. I may not be gone forever guaranteed, but it's starting to seem kinda more likely than ever. And to anyone I've ever RPed with, or has been a part of my events... thanks.
