Volume #27: Issue 1

Back in Business
After a mysterious setback with our processing facilities, we are finally able to start printing again in mass quantities. We had many infestations of rodents, insects and even some magical beasts. Vanishing Cockroaches were the real threat, which can grow to the size of a small dog and even seem to understand the human tongue. They also possess an innate ability to vanish at will. This made them particularly hard to capture. All said and done we seem to have resolved the problem, and are ready to give you: The TRUTH!

The Recent Killings
Loads of people seem to be speculating that it is Hogwarts students, these mysterious men in orange, exploding kittens and werewolves that are the real cause behind the recent increase in murder. Our experts have concluded that not all of these are true, the only proven sightings of anyone recorded was these 'Men in Orange.' Cedric Cortwallus has recently shown that the real culprit is a creature called the Earwigfinkle Worm. It is an extremely tiny worm, invisible to the naked eye, that weasels its way into its victim's ear and then into their brain. The person will not know it until it is too late. They will be swept up in huge emotions and begin to cry a lot, followed by anger issues. Then they lose complete control of themselves and start being controlled by the worm itself. Cedric Cortwallus, a skilled medical professional, claims that the only way to protect yourself from these threats is to put cotton in your ears for a day if you think you are infected.

Volume #27: Issue 2

Werewolves: Friends or Menace? by Humphrey Quinn
We've gotten word of the illegalities of dealing with werewolves. Anyone that would have ever met me would know my personal standings on these docile creatures. A werewolf is a person, too, and any who thinks otherwise should be ashamed of themselves. I have plenty of friends who are afflicted with Lycanthropy, and it is certainly not by choice. Who are we to ostracize these poor souls?

I first started my study on these werewolves when my friend and old pal, Jenison Fields, who now resides in a small town on the outskirts of London. I was attacked multiple times but that wasn't his fault. I plan to continue my research, welcome or not, even if I have to leave the jurisdiction of this Ministry. Do not believe the garbage and lies the Prophet shows you. Stick to The Quibbler, in my expert opinion!

Humphrey Quinn is a very powerful public speaking wizard from a town in Wales. He has had many encounters with the famous Gilderoy Lockhart, and has even gotten some one-on-one, individual, special-secret insights on Lockhart's upcoming books. Quinn is also writing his own book called Charismatic Cravings and Correct Collaboration of Conversation. Buy it this fall!

Daily Dating Advice: Can's and Can'ts by Samuel Fizzliniski
Can: Offer a flower on rare occasions.
Can't: Do not pick flowers from her garden and give them to her.
Can: Give her/him an occasional compliment that would flatter him/her.
Can't: Do not offer a compliment to yourself in front of them in hopes they will flatter you.
Can: Ask him/her to join you on a date to a picnic or restaurant or make food.
Can't: DO NOT Take them to a buffet or into a dark scenery bar.
Can: You will have more success if you wear some sort of appealing make-up or use beautification charms.
Can't: Do not wear a member of the opposite sex's make-up, be careful with beautification charms so as to not make yourself look like a fool.
Can: Be kind and caring at all times.
Can't: Do not ever insult people in front of her/him as this gives you a low appeal.

Most importantly, studies of beautification potions and charms show that you have a greater chance of success if applying these to yourself. Although, I've personally had a flawed beautification potion. During this date I ended up with boils and hideous scales all over my face that still won't go away completely. So be very careful of your sources. As for that date and how it went, oddly enough she hasn't owled me back.

New Creature Discovered Near Hogsmeade by Sandy Igdenhaul
In the small market town of Hogsmeade, which is by the wonderful school of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, there have been sightings of a creature in the lake that extends from the school to the town. The large, monstrous thing was apparently spotted near the water. There have occasionally also been some rumors of this strange creature roaming around the town itself. Its body resembles that of a large goblin, but it appears to have feathers, a short neck, and dark coloring. The four people who have sighted this 'creature' didn't attempt to go near it. We have yet to try to speak to any Hogwarts Students that may have encountered what is being labeled as the "HogsLake Angel."

Animal Breeding by Bartlebee Igdenhaul
In lieu of new discoveries of creatures, we have collected a group of wizards to examine breeding habits of critters. The newest development on creatures is the "Demora Pixie" (Named after Demora Ein) who was the captor of this fae. It held onto a purple seed and refused to let anyone touch it. The creature seemed to have some powerful mind-affecting abilities, as when Demora grabbed the pixie it shouted something that sounded like "In-dee-goa." At this point Demora let go of the pixie and it flew away towards the Forbidden Forest by Hogwarts School. We can only assume that this pixie is the breed between a simple Cornish pixie and a creature we had almost encountered, "The Invisible Winklelisk." A Winklelisk is a critter completely capable of distorting the mind to make people think they are not there when they are. It has never been seen, touched, heard, or smelled, but it is quite obvious that it is there as I have had sudden urges to turn around as I felt watched. They are out there, the first captor of a Winklelisk will receive a reward of fifty-five galleons for magical documentation.

Volume #27: Issue 3 [a pamphlet]

The Bloodthirsty Ministry by Humphrey Quinn
I am appalled and outraged. People, my people. Do not be fooled by the lies fed to you by the Ministry and it's faithful 'witch' Dolores Umbridge. Do not be spoon-fed the lies of The Daily Prophet. People, you must rise up and recognize the permanent damage that the Ministry has done. They are the ones who took the only way that a person could keep themselves sustained, the wolfsbane potion. Last night...Hogsmeade was attacked, many good wholesome people were hurt or killed.

Those seventeen in Hogsmeade were not brutally murdered by the werewolves!
Those seventeen were not killed by the people who harbored werewolves!
Those seventeen, their familes, and everyone connected to them can blame one thing: The Ministry!

So the next time you think to persecute a werewolf, a person who fights for their rights, or fights the Ministry, instead pat them on the back, because this is all the Ministry's fault. How do people sleep at night knowing they work for people who live to make others suffer?

People, band together! Do not lose faith! With enough people we can win this war!

Volume #27: Issue 4

Fairweather Farewell by Humphrey Quinn
Well, my children, after my many years working with The Quibbler, I wish that I could continue on reporting like I did in my youth. One more year and it would have been ten years, but suddenly events have taken a turn for the worse, causing me to need to stay at my home. It has been wonderful reporting to you, and this will be my final submission.

I have to first thank every last person whom has been reading my

Articles since I started.
Most of all I must say how much I respect all of the people who have

Brought the quibbler to us in the first place.
Everybody else at the Quibbler is completely
Intelligent and very capable of bringing wonderful
News.
Good Witches and Wizards

Free your minds and spirits and hope that the world stay
Open for our future
Remember,
Children,
Everything happens for a reason,
Doesn't it?

Thank you, to Mister X for
Opening a chapter of our

Rightgeous attempts on bringing people the truth.
Each and every person I
Thank you.
It has been wonderful.
Really.
Earwig.

We are apologising we hired a new enchanter for the word spread and have seemed to have some problems, forgive us and we will have everything back to normal. For now, you just have to read it closely.

Volume #27: Issue 5

[An article by a new contributor appears in the most recent edition of The Quibbler.]

The Nature of the Beast: A Lycanthropy Discussion
by Zane von Mecklenberg

Part One
The arguments concerning Lycanthropic Rights, or Restrictions, rage through the Wizarding world, discussed daily in both mainstream media and Ministry opinions. To fully understand the situation, however, we must comprehend the facts that are pertinent to the discussion.

Man or Beast?
The first question that should be truly addressed in any document of this sort is "What is lycanthropy?" Is it a curse born of magic or some disease transferred by the bite of an infected victim? Are those we call werewolves still to be considered humans or are they animals? When can this change? One of my more favored questions, however, is what does lycanthropy mean to the highly empowered Wizarding world's inhabitants? We shall discuss each of these points in greater detail.

And so, we shall begin our research with an investigation into words. Names, titles, and descriptive phrases are more than simple utterances of breath, as any witch or wizard is most aware. Words have power, if only in the ability to focus the mind to pursue a desired outcome. As such, we must understand the titles we have given to these infected or cursed victims in order to comprehend the social stigmas and perceptions that have grown around their condition.

Terminology
Firstly, let us study the word "disease." The word disease is most commonly used to refer to any condition that impairs the normal function of an organism's systems. Under normal conditions, the word is usually further refined to refer to either:

• Infectious diseases which result from the presence of pathogenic microbial agent, or
• Non-infectious diseases which result from abnormal cellular reproduction, genetic modifications from the norm, or impairments caused by damage, such as cardiac disease.

The critical point of understanding in this first term is to recognize that a "disease" is caused by either an infection resulting from the presence of an invading, and thus mobile, agent, from the results of genetic deviance, or resulting from deterioration of or trauma to bodily systems.

Although a person could acquire a disease through malicious behavior by another, the actual infection occurs naturally.

Secondly, we consider the term "curse." A curse is generally defined as any form of damage or inconvenience inflicted through a supernatural power. In the Wizarding world, the word is often interchangeable with "hex," although this second term is normally reserved for those effects of a lesser nature. What we must take from this definition, however, is the obvious intent to do harm that is determined by a thinking and intelligent source. While a disease happens, curses are performed.

Next, we shall look at the word "lycanthropy." Derived from the Ancient Greek lykánthropos, a combination of lýkos ("wolf") and ánthropos ("human"), the phrase translates most directly into wolf-man. The historical implication of the combination of words implies a form of therianthropy, or the ability to metamorphose into animals, rather than a naturally occurring man/wolf hybrid. It is worth noting that the term "therianthrope" literally means "beast-man," from which the words “turnskin” and “turncoat” were derived. This etymology will be discussed later as an example of how the shifting of forms is quite often seen as a betrayal of the natural order.

One of the first documented uses of the word lycanthropy is linked to the myth of Lycaon, a ancient king of Arcadia who, as documented in the Metamorphoses as written by Ovid, was turned into a ravenous wolf in retribution for attempting to serve his own son to visiting Zeus in an attempt to disprove the god's divinity. In this, the condition is seen as a magical malady spread through a curse.

Lastly, if "lycanthropy" is the condition of becoming wolf from man, we must investigate the name for the person so affected. The term "werewolf" derives from Old English wer/were ("man" in the sense of male human, not the race of humanity) and wulf ("wolf" or "beast"). As such, to match the "man-to-wolf" condition of lycanthropy, the werewolf was a "man-wolf" or "man-beast." An interesting alternative etymology derives the first part from Old English weri (to wear). In this version, the werewolf would be one who "wears the skin of the wolf," a fitting description to the Old Norse ulfhednar, or lupine equivalents of the (more commonly bearish) berserker ("bear-shirt").

The word "werewolf" was made popular by Archbishop Wulfstan of York in 1008, although the word had existed for some time before. Other appearances of the word date from the twelfth and thirteenth centuries in the History and Topography of Wales (Gerald of Wales) and the Otia Imperialia (Gervase of Tilbury).

To be continued.

Volume #27: Issue 6

The Nature of the Beast: A Lycanthropy Discussion
by Zane von Mecklenberg

Part Two
Wherein the various forms of transfigurative changes into animalistic forms are discussed.

The Forms of Change
To understand the curse of lycanthropy, let us first delve into the most obvious affect of the experience. Let us investigate the act of physical modification of the body to the lupine form.

There are multiple methods for physical alteration. The first that we shall consider is advanced use of transfiguration magic. Through the use of such, the physical body can be modified to assume alternate forms. These forms could be partial to enhance certain attributes (at this point we must proceed carefully to avoid confusing transfiguration magic with charms) or more complete. The true danger inherent in this form of modification, however, is the concern for the altered creature’s intellect.

Unprotected transfiguration results in the total change. The changed creature’s mind will alter in thought pattern to fit the modified form, eventually resulting in a total transformation with no (or very little) hope for recovery. Now we must accept that this form of alteration does indeed sound somewhat appropriate to the nature of the lycanthropic change, but, as I shall explain in later portions of this treatise, such brute magic cannot explain the true nature of lycanthropy.

Another form of change is the highly specialized art of the Animagus. This form of Changing Magic is truly impressive. Circumstantial evidence shows that definite signs exist that indicate that, by magically linking the true physical body to that of a single changed animal form, a select few advanced users of transfiguration magic are able to shift their shape and retain their capacity for human thought. Whereas a witch or wizard could, conceivably, transform themselves into any shape (as limited by "Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration" and its five Principal Exceptions), the animagus masters the single form. The reflection of the magus’ true shape on the altered form (missing body parts transfer between both forms, physical appearances and affectations correspond, etc.) is of great importance in the discussion points of this document, as these are equivalently apparent amongst lycanthropes. Also, like the Lycanthropic Change, the Animagi transformation is a wandless spell.

As the discerning reader can see, this most exalted form of advanced transfiguration magic is a mirror image, reflected darkly, of the pariah curse of the werewolf.

The next form of alteration that we shall discuss will be that of the Trickster. Possible through any number of modifications or compensating abilities, those who would appear as something else have always found a way to do so. Whether it be through the Muggle arts of disguise, the illusionary abilities such as those of the Boggart, or other method, the wise witch or wizard must always question their senses. Even as the methods used in this category vary, so too will the symptoms, abilities, and dangers.

Now, we shall discuss true Lycanthropic Change. The defining beauty of the Animagus transformation forced with the brutal emphasis of the most callous transfiguration…and more. Like the Animagus, the victim is changed, always, to the same form (For differences between a true wolf and a werewolf, see the appropriate sections of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. The most common methods of identifying a werewolf, however, include the shape of the snout, pupils, and tufted tail.), physical similarities are carried across between forms, and, under the influence of the Wolfsbane Potion, the human mind remains. However, the change is involuntary and tied to the waxing of the full moon. The unaided mind of the werewolf is buried under a raging anger that overrides all forms of human relations (and in doing so, is most un-wolf-like – wolves are, as we know, extremely social, pack-oriented creatures that, for the most part, do not demonstrate open aggression to any extent equivalent to that of a werewolf). Finally, while Animagi seem to be able to select (or be selected) a single animal form, their transfigured state is in no way “supernatural.” The werewolf, however, shows definite signs of a enchanted nature, including enhanced senses, physical capabilities, and regenerative healing.

From these points, we can understand that the Lycanthropic Change is a combination of the greatest benefits of both raw transfigurative and Animagi change, but the involuntary and violent nature of this form of Change offsets any benefit gained. But, regardless, the effects are, from a researcher’s point of view, nothing less than amazing.

At this time, the Curse is uncurable and only moderately treatable. No method has been discovered to prevent the monthly reoccurrence of the event, but the advent of Damocles Belby’s “Wolfsbane Potion” (as described in Moste Potente Potions Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger) allows an infected werewolf to avoid the dreaded rage (described later) during the change.

To be continued.

Volume #27: Issue 8

[A fourth and final article in a series of four parts by a new contributor appears in the most recent edition of The Quibbler.]

The Nature of the Beast: A Lycanthropy Discussion
by Zane von Mecklenberg

Part Three
Wherein the author offers his opinion of what Lycanthropy means to the Wizarding World.

The Crime of Change
And so, with these definitions in mind, we must come to the point of deciding if the werewolf is human or beast. In most cases, those infected with lycanthropy found their “humanity” forfeit and their status changed to, at best, that of a “magical being.” This very concern has been argued in the halls of Wizarding Government numerous times, resulting in confusing, if not disturbing, regulations at times. (Examples of such include the one-time situation in the English Ministry of Magic wherein the Werewolf Registry and Capture Units were both administered by the Beast Division of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures while the Office of Werewolf Support was listed as part of the Being Division. Current debates concerning the treatment of werewolves and their innate threat to others are also prime examples of this concern.) And so, we must ask ourselves why, if a infected witch or wizard is only considered to be a werewolf when physically changed into lupine form, the social stigma of being affected by the condition is worthy of stripping the afflicted of their basic human rights. This, as a result, begs the next topic.

What does lycanthropy mean to the Wizarding world?

Witches and wizards are, as few would argue, capable of great and powerful incantations and spellcraft that have the ability to directly affect the reality in which they live. The very ability to perform magic sets them above and beyond the realm of Muggles and, in doing so, empowers the witch or wizard to have a much greater capability to guide their own fate.

It is my opinion that lycanthropy, by its very nature confronts the Wizarding world with the fact that, no matter how great a magus’ skill, there will always be greater. Like medieval leprosy to the Muggle world, lycanthropy is our “outcast, unclean” condition. It is more than a simple affliction or curse.

.... Lycanthropy is our fear and weakness given form. It is a disease that we cannot cure. It is a curse that we cannot dispel. It is a condition that renders the great and powerful minds of the Wizarding world to nothing more than brute, savage anger and physical violence.

.... Lycanthropy steals our magic and makes us helpless.

.... Lycanthropy, my friends, is a Gift from God. Thus does He teach us humility. How we react to this teaching is undoubtedly the mark of our worth as both individuals and a society.

In Conclusion
And so, we reach the end of this treatise. Our discussions have discussed the definitions of affective words, the historical examples of the curse throughout the centuries, examples of known transfigurative magics, and, finally, the observed stigmas and concerns expressed within the Wizarding world regarding the very existence of the Lycanthropic change.

Let us hope that these writings have raised questions in each reader’s mind. Regardless of the path that the wizards and witches reading this series take, let us hope that we weigh care against concern.

_________________
You go your way
I'll go your way too

Volume #27: Issue 13

Late Hogwarts Headmistress On The Lamb?
by McGregor Florsheim

Believe it or not, information has recently come to light that Minerva McGonigilly, a former professor of Transfiguration and, briefly, Headmistress of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry may be yet living and even free from the shackles of the Ministry of Magic's reign of terror.

A recent disturbance in an older Muggle neighborhood of downtown London had the Ministry of Magic in a stir last week. Written off by most Muggle newspapers as a tremor or earthquake of some kind, the event must have set off alarms in certain circles at the Ministry, as several departments were mobilized quickly to investigate. All hush-hush, of course.

Meanwhile, however, some person or persons may have taken advantage of the Ministry's distraction to propagate a prison break at the famed wizarding penitentiary, Azkaban. An eye witness account from a reliable source who wishes to remain anonymous for obvious reasons assures us that nothing of the kind has ever been seen at Azkaban before. The surgical strike was so sudden and so powerful that dementors were reportedly flowing from Azkaban—yes, you're reading this correctly—away from Azkaban in the opposite direction so thickly they were like ink spilled from a giant inkwell. One corner of one of Azkaban's great, fortress-like towers was obliterated completely, and yet only one cell was disturbed—that of the former Hogwarts Headmistress who was imprisoned without a proper trial on charges of treason as a supposed Lycan supporter and sympathizer.

We wouldn't presume to speculate what this might mean, but hats off to those who continue to resist the advancing glaciation of freedoms by Tyranny and Oppression, and good luck to you, Madam McGonigilly!

Volume #27: Issue 14

The very next issue of The Quibbler contains a small, tragic item.

McGregor Florsheim, Quibbler reporter and esteemed colleague was found this morning in front of his London residence, sprinkled piecemeal and liberally over the lawn of the apartment building courtyard. You will be missed, Mister Florsheim.

Volume #27: Issue 19

Talonen: Criminal Mastermind or Master Baker?
By Sammi Dinglewald

Known philanderer Alek Talonen spoke last week at the dedication of the new wing of St. Mungo’s Hospital. We have long suspected this wing to be a front for Talonen’s leadership in the upcoming goblin revolution, also known by our sources as “Ghadvek Pradhlin Insipekarnok,” which means “Glorious Down-Putting of Wand-Waving Goats” in Gobbledegook. Talonen appeared restless and unprepared for his speech, which leads us to believe he was not informed ahead of time that he would be expected to give one.

Hoping to remain in the shadows and work out plans with his goblin support staff who were present at the dedication, Talonen was instead thrust forward by his known co-conspirator, Hogwarts School professor Filius Flitwick. Flitwick is known to be part goblin and is, we suspect, Talonen’s interpreter.

With the last furtive words of his instructions lost in the roar of the crowd (primarily known goblin supporters), Interpreter Flitwick pushed Talonen forward to begin his speech. While he frantically searched for an escape route, Talonen began by saying a few nonsensical words regarding the supposed use of the wing. Interpreter Flitwick quickly ushered the other dignitaries to the side of the area, using the Magical Law Enforcement agents as his shields.

Upon receiving signals from his goblin counterparts behind the crowd (in what we now believe to be Gobbledegook sign language), Talonen disappeared. This was followed by a loud crack, a shock wave, and some flame-like substance believed to be Wrackspurt exhaust. We believe Talonen used his opportunity to both Disapparate and rid himself of the dangerously confusing Wrackspurts attracted to him by overexposure to goblin fumes.

Talonen’s Apparation was quickly repeated by the goblins and their wizard accomplices while Interpreter Flitwick bustled into the crowd to attempt to foster chaos. While initial reports seemed to indicate that Talonen had been killed by a blast or some sort of accident, we now have evidence which proves he is not dead. Our Nargle-assisted spies within the goblin infrastructure have reported that Talonen is now furiously baking up a storm in his underground hideout to produce enough pumpkin-glazed Cauldron Cakes to feed the goblin armies through the winter (these types of Cauldron Cakes are known to give goblins incredible strength and agility).

Keep your eyes peeled, Quibbler readers. Any man who can eject Wrackspurts that forcefully deserves our full attention.

Volume #28: Issue 1

Above Dumbledore's War
Who really fought that day?
An inside scoop courtesy of Khayyam G. Wilson

Dear readers, today I bring to you a story of great import. Many of you have surely read the other paper by now, and thus are well aware of the carnage and bloodshed that occured on that dire evening of the battle at London Academy of Magic.

What we do not know, however, is the story behind illustrious Albus Dumbledore's lengthy disappearance, nor how once-outlaw and partner in wands Minerva McGonagall managed to free herself from that famed pillar of captivity that is Azkaban. These two, joined by Hogwarts staff and students alike, valiantly stormed the gates of the Academy, bringing down the beast once and for all.

However, this victory is not what I have come to discuss with you, dear readers. The question I pose instead, was this: "where was Albus Dumbledore?"

Following this path, after interviewing countless witches and wizards, I have come to one final answer that may indeed dwarf your views on the immensity of what has happened over the past dark months.

After his disappearance over a year ago, Dumbledore had been aboard a spacecraft from the planet Nibiru. Little has been made of wizarding interstellar contact, because we as a society would surely react violently out of fear if the reptilian presence among us were to reveal itself. I believe that only now can we be trusted with this information.

The extraterrestrials gave us the gift of the wand long ago, you see, and they await the day when we may join them in the Interstellar Federation of Wizardry. Without the IFW's intervention, those of us with magical talent would still be researching and barely beginning to understand our power even today.

The London Academy and other similar backwards institutions, that serve only to stall progressive thinking among the magical community, are known to the IFW as clear enemies. This is why they chose to abduct Dumbledore and break McGonagall out of prison.

These two were briefed on the situation, and instructed on how to turn it around - and of course, they did so to great success, calling in the aid of not only Hogwarts and its denizens but also the Ministry, as well as unsung heroes among the Werewolf, Merpeople, and Crumple-Horned Snorkack communities. The IFW also interfered behind the scenes to make sure the battle was convincing yet victorious in the end.

I hope that together, we can stand up and ensure that the efforts of the IFW are not wasted. One day surely they will deem us worthy to join them among the stars, wands in hand, toward a brighter future beyond our own planet.

Volume #28: Issue 2

Love Day is on it's Way! by Samuel Fizzliniski

Hello, hello - Witches, Wizards, Trolls, Giants, Invisible Daisy People, Vampires, Werewolves, Wereunicorns, Pirates, Ninjas, and of course hopeless romantics. I am Samuel Fizzliniski bringing you a very special Edition of The Quibbler - where we talk about the iconic -LOVE DAY-. I will be raising several issues as well as challenges for all men and women who are going to be trying to go all out to impress their mate! First, I want to address how to get a date if you are already a squib in the ways of love.

Topic 1: How not to be a Squib to the magic of love Co-authored by Amanda Hugenkiss
Can: Make sure you tell your girl or guy that you'd like to invite them out on a date for Valentine's Day. It is always an easy yes for those that don't have a date, on February 14th!
Can't: Don't tell a girl or guy that you want to take them because you can't find a date for the night - or because your other date rejected you for someone other then that hunk Gilderoy Lockhart!
Can: If Gilderoy Lockhart did happen to refuse you on the grounds that he was busy but mentioned he wished he could - it is okay to tell EVERYONE and you are very LUCKY!
Can't: The above does not typically work in a guys favor - if they had happened to ask Gilderoy Lockhart then he was probably just being polite to you. Most people will look at a guy awkwardly for asking out even the most famous of men.
Can: I suggest making some great plans that both you and your date to be to go all over to lovely date spots that have great reputations!
Can't: I don't suggest luring her into the Black Forest(or -any- forest for that matter) for a romantic picnic. While the gesture is nice within itself, being eaten or your date being eaten will sort of spoil the night for both of you!
Can: Help your close friends find dates among your girlfriend or boyfriend/ Husband or Wife friends!
Can't: See above - replace close friends with random bum.
Can: It's okay, you can use some love magic on your new muggle date - if that's your fancy. We won't tell!
Can't: I'm kidding, don't take your wand out on the first date! For multiple reasons.

Notice from the Author: Hi, I'm the beautiful Amanda Hugenkiss and for the record I am just wanting to let you all know that I am not dating anyone for this day. If anyone FAMOUS or not so famous would like to go out on a special date that day!!!! Preferably famous. Just send an owl with my name on it to the Hogsmeade Post Office, I'll definitely be considering people based on the flourish of their quill!

Topic Two: The Fourteen Days of Love! by Samuel Fizzliniski


This is my challenge to those of you who have significant others for the first day of February to the fourteenth day of February!

01 February 2013 - Buy your significant other something nice - Men, I suggest chocolate or even the safest route of flowers for your girlfriend. Women, I definitely suggest some chocolate for the man in your life or you can get him a brand new broom tool kit! Note: Some women also like broom tool kits!

02 February 2013 - Plan a self-made date all day with your significant other and/or current respective date and then go out and do it. My suggestions are always: Picnic in a nice field, Dancing under the stars, Riding Horses together, or just moonlight swimming together! Do all at once if you can!

03 February 2013 - Find or Create an interesting way to say, "I love you." Pull through and do it. An example that I did with my wife when I was making cookies last year - was form them into a heart each a letter I L O V E Y O U M A R Y B E L L!

04 February 2013 - May I suggest learning an interesting song to sing or play with an instrument. Some people might not be able to pull this part off, so for those that can't - I will also suggest simply exposing your significant other to a song that you heard on the muggle radio - or even on the Wizarding Wireless.

05 February 2013 - Tell your lover something you may have not ever told them about you. Around this time honesty is always forgivable and they will love you more for your open heart. This one may take some time to think - but everyone has something they never told their romantic partner.


06 February 2013 - Get together for a private romantic night where no one else can bother. I suggest massages, candle light dinner, or even just a walk through your favorite -Private- location! Nothing is spent in greater quality then time when you're spending it intimately with the love of your life!

07 February 2013 - Wow, halfway there already now it is time to go out on a double date with others - perhaps even considering an entire party of dates. Maybe even just to hang out and drink butterbeer as you watch the sun set - or rise depending on your fancy. (If your a vampire, feel free to watch the moon instead - though it's not as interesting.)

08 February 2013 - On this day, take some time to get to know your significant other more. Ask them several questions that you still might want to know - if you think you know everything however, Play Tarot cards and see what else you may learn - or even find out what is in store for you!

09 February 2013 - Go out on a date not concerning food at all, but going someplace that is interesting. I suggest either going out to dance at a wizards(or muggle if you prefer) dance club. Or to the Zoo, there is a lovely one in London that we've all heard wonderful things about.

10 February 2013 - Getting even closer to that special day, today would be a wonderful day to go out and plan out some matching outfits for the wonderful Love Day that is nearing. I would also suggest looking into hairstyles and makeup - and even potions that might make you look and feel even better in preparation for Love Day.

11 February 2013 - Learn how to dance if you have not already tried, some of the most fun times in your life will be learning to move in tandem with your partner. If you have already learned how to dance - I suggest learning a new sort of dance you have never tried. This doesn't have to be just you and your partner - doubling or tripling up with couples will make this way more fun.

12 February 2013 - Go out and get some shopping done together, find out what one another likes to look at, get an idea of what kind of special item should be bought for your significant other on this loveliest of days that will be coming up. Some of you may have gotten something already - but don't fret just shop learn more about their tastes. Afterwards, might I suggest writing a love poem for the one that you love.

13 February 2013 - You should have already thought about hairstyle and make up on the tenth. Now it is time to follow through with this and begin to get your hair style changed and done up in a beautiful way - or just become a smoking hot stud for the ladies. Make sure you have all the extra beautification potions and/or materials for the next day. Afterwards, tell us what you think of your done up significant others hair so far, anticipate what tomorrow will bring - while sitting down and enjoying some nice hot chocolate and cuddling by the fire.

LOVE DAY! - It has finally arrived - go out and do what you both have been planning to do. Give them that special gift, give them that special kiss, show them that greatest love. Do whatever you want for your love on this day and have an amazing - wonderful - loving time.

The Challenge: Now since this is a challenge there is a very special prize to be won for the people who send in the best fourteen-days. I implore each of you reading to follow our guides as best you can and let us know what you did each day, how it went, and if she or he is sticking around for another year! WE HOPE SO! You can send your owl to our department at the address issued on the bottom of the contact page of the Quibbler. The decision will be made before the end of the month and we will pick the best couple to receive our gifts. We suggest that each member of the relationship participate and take half of the challenges each and write about the experience on separate papers before compiling it for our contest. The deadline to send it in by will be the twenty first of February.

Don't forget to fill out the information on the contest sheet on the next page - All ages can respond and partake in this from very young to very old! Sidenote - any people under the age of thirteen please get a parent or guardian to sign for approval of permission. If you happen to be a student at a school then ask your school appointed chaperone or headmaster to sign off on this permission - IF you are under the age of thirteen.


Name: __________________________ Name 2: ______________________
Age: _____ Age 2: _____
Occupation/School: ________________ Occupation/School 2: ___________

Give us a brief bio of your relationship - how you met and all the juicy details of what attracted you to them. In the space provided below:



//OOC disclaimer - this will actually be an ingame competition - to send in your response letters to participate into my PM Box entitled with both characters involved. To ensure fairness and that even I can participate, I will be including all of the dms if possible on the decision to get as unanimous of a victory as possible - The only thing that must be stressed in the decision process is that a dm may not vote for one of their characters(but they may vote for other dm pcs.) - there may also be participation rewards. I hope you will all try to enjoy! Also if your pc doesn't have a pc gf/bf you can always make it up. RP is king!

Volume #28: Issue 3

Winner Announcement! by Samuel Fizzliniski

We'd like to announce the winner of the Love Day. It turns out that there was a single participant from the area of Hogsmeade but luckily Sarah Barnius of Hogsmeade has won our grand prize and managed to beat over a hundred London applicants. She is the winner of our special basket of the most powerful beautification potions allowed out on the market as well as an all inclusive trip to Paris for an expensive dinner and lastly a very special musical instrument.

We were expecting some students a Hogwarts to participate - but the only participant from Hogwarts was the famous GL that's right Gilderoy Lockhart. Professor Lockhart of Hogwarts asked us to extend our competition specifically for Hogwarts - which we decided we would pass out special prizes if anyone would actually fill out the information from our last Quibbler and submit it. We also -might- offer to the best writer a free chance to post any topic they want and discuss it on our Quibbler. This could lead to even a possible internship offer - assuming that it would be accepted by the person and the school itself.

These students will have to the end of the month - otherwise there will be no reward -nor- would anyone get our very special couples rings - which would be passed out to the first five to send in! Hurry up, Hogwarts, and thank your Professor Lockhart for the extension.


Dementors: A study of... by the late Alfred von Truicsmon and introduction by Desmond Woods

It was leaked to our sources that a great young ambitious man, Alfred von Truicsmon, has passed away at the age of Twenty-Three while studying the Dementors of Azkaban. The Ministry has not made any public statements about the validity of the claims that young Alfred was given permission to study the Dementors unprotected. Luckily, the family had given us permission to take one of his documents that he left at home during the last Christmas break.

"Day thirty-eight, its almost impossible to sleep anymore and its even worse when you do finally and then wake up. Nothing is worse then waking up feeling miserable surrounded by these 'creatures.' I have been here for thirty-eight days and tomorrow I take my leave to go home to see my family for the Holidays. I can't wait - I thought I was on to something with the Dementors but every time I seem to get them to respond to my questions they just hover our of my range and stare at me - I can feel something being sucked out - every time and I can't help but feel like they're trying to drain everything from me. Even now as I write, I feel tired - my thoughts less cognitive. I will figure them out yet. Alfred."

So far no one has confirmed or disproved that Mister Truicsmon was studying legally within the walls of Azkaban, but with this startling note it would seem that Mister Truicsmon believed he was in control and very optimistic on discovering the truth behind the secrets of the Dementors. Unfortunately. the rest of the logs would still be in the hands of Azkaban employees and will likely not be released to the public. We can only assume that Azkaban is shut down and will not be receiving visitors for a long time. Unless of course this is completely wrong.

Thermites: A Public Service Announcement

It is with a heavy heart that I bring to you the truth behind the destruction of our magical former home away from home, Hogwarts, and also our precious political centre. Upon further investigation of the castle of Hogwarts and the housing of our Ministry of Magic, both their foundations and their rubble contained a massive amount of rot brought on by thermites. Yes, you read that right. These magic thermites have lingered inside of our walls for what would appear to be several centuries and adapted to be capable of eating through the stones of our foundations! This news is very unfortunate, for the research of one very educated Genevieve Genovief has also concluded that there is no certain way to stop these thermites for they are very much as invisible to us as Thestrals to the most innocent of souls.