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Hey! New year! beginning of Feburary..I know bit late to start a diary but everyone is doing it, and my old one is full. A girl huffle saw my album today. She only saw the outside. I didn't mena for her to see it. She was all curious, and I ended up losing grip and having a go at her. I hate it when that happens..I lose control and hurt innocent people and friends...it's like a elastic band inside me snaps...It's horrible...And I can't control it. But with my friends support I'm learning to control my anger. Haven't eaten properly in over a fortnight. Just a grape or something.Drank alot of water. I think I've lost a bit of weight, I told my mum about it and she sent a howler saying how I have a perfect figure and shouldn't ruin it. Mums....
Anyways didn't get up to much exciting, except hmm what was it..HAVING A FIT!! Man I dunno why....It was selfish of me...People got hurt...I regret it terribly now. I bet you're thinking (Well obviously not you'r a diary! Duh!) what is she on about?! I'll explain..Maybe It'll help my emtions...
I was stood with Andrian and Zane in the staircase to Garden..Dunno why we was there but we was just talking really...Nothing much. Then Andrew came in..Started talking. He disgusts me..I shouldn't be so harsh, because everyone is inclined to have an opinion..But sayign that my 2 best friends deserved to die..Well you would proberly be the same...or not..But yeah I started shaking. It was horrible for me...My heart sort of froze, then went beserk..As if it was a caged animal being tortured..And I kinda freaked them out...But I was just controlling myself..I'm getting better at it. Got Anger Management issues...It sucks!
but yeah I started shaking, (controlling myself very well! =]) and then I made Zane hold my arms tight and hard (DODGEY! LOL). And then I launched at Andrew, and he got his damned birds to attack me...Then I squashed them with ice and he melted it by making a mini explosion, Making Adrian fall backwards off the staircase over the pillar, burnt and knocked out, and me scolded. I still have burn marks. But yeah then hell broke loose and Me and Andrew argued, we dueled, Zane interfered, but bless he was trying to protect me. In the end andrew sort of was strangling me with my own arm. Then he just left, leaving me rasping on the floor and Zane in a mood. Git.
so yeah that's what happened lately. No one in the EH. Haven't seen Rhea or Chance for a while...Haven't seen anyone for a while in the matter. Oh well..Been spending alot of my time wherever there is water. I love to swim..it's just...something about water calms me...Makes me feel as if everything is ok. Even though everything is most certainly NOT ok!
Oh hell..girls are all coming in to get changed or bed or soemthing like that. Dunno what time it is...I'm just sat by the fire writing. Can't see a clock. Anyway the nosy [censored] trying to see what I'm writing. Write soon.
Amber-x
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