Lucian lifted a Hawk Quill and dips the end into shadow ink which he used to write in his journal. As the tip of his quill touched the pages his words begin to flow.

It has been five months that I've been here at Durmstrang. I have spent countless hours researching the Dark Arts and studying by myself in the Library. During these times I have encountered hundreds of other students and have noticed a pattern. Each student seems to keep to themselves and study alone. Of course that seemed to have become the Durmstrang slogan, Complete solitude. There is only one that has paired up with me to 'assist' me in studying. Veiyne Vaughn, even though he seems like a moron, he is quite valuable in his knowledge. I can tolerate one such as him, at least for a while.

He lifted his quill to dip into the ink as the wind blew through several windows he was sitting next to. He glanced out into the night to hear the howl of the wolves and werewolves in the forests which he so commonly ran into. Shaking his head he continued to write.

Every echo in this castle of darkness screams at me. Calling me further into the knowledge of the Dark Arts. It was the first time I stepped foot in this place when I noticed it, the very evil of this hell oozing out of the walls. However, somehow I find peace in these halls which are slowly encasing me in death and peccancy. I feel as if once I am finished here I will have a profound knowledge in the Dark Arts and be one step closer to my goal. Power is close, I can feel it.

_________________
Life is at best a dream and at worst a nightmare from which you cannot escape.
- Mysterious Stranger Manuscripts

Lucian Vent - Living, Expelled, Location Unknown

Jacob Green - Living, Seventh Year, Hufflepuff

Rurian Blackwing - Living, Seventh Year, Slytherin

Cameron Slaine - Living, Second Year, Gryffindor

Lucian arrived back at Hogwarts after the first term of seventh year. He had finished his final tests at Durmstrang and passed with ease. Though there was something very different about him, a darker presence. After speaking with his Professors about the make up work he had to do, he went to his room in the Ravenclaw common. It looked the same as it did before and this came as no surprise to Lucian. The house elves stayed away from his room because the last time he caught one cleaning he threatened him. Lucian waved his waved his wand at his backpack, his equipment and books unloading themselves into their respectful places. He lifts a Hawk Quill, his journal, and a bottle of shadow ink from his bookshelf, setting it on a desk. Sitting down, he lifted his quill and began to form words of his experiences again.

I've returned to Hogwarts and everything seems to be the same although something is different. I guess it's the new surrounding. So welcoming and warm, like a big 'happy' family here. I'm not used to it, and I don't like it. Everything I've done was worth it, I hope....

Lucian glanced to his mirror and something caught his eye. The same defective face that tormented him in his dreams and in reality had returned. He didn't want to believe so he simply looked away quickly. But this time, he was quivering. He dipped his quill in his shadow ink again and continued.

Am I slowly returning to what I as? Or am I different? Perhaps the evil of that castle got to me... No, it can't be that it's back. The same evil that had pierced my soul so many years ago. I won't allow it back.... But the power that came with it. I hadn't even explored the full potential of it. Am I willing to go that far? To go that deep into darkness that I may never come back out? Who cares, I might be. What if I do? Could really anyone care? I think Lani does, but I'm not sure. I could protect her easily with the power I would gain, the knowledge.... I would never lose her. After all, they say that in reality the insane are really the most balanced.

_________________
Life is at best a dream and at worst a nightmare from which you cannot escape.
- Mysterious Stranger Manuscripts

Lucian Vent - Living, Expelled, Location Unknown

Jacob Green - Living, Seventh Year, Hufflepuff

Rurian Blackwing - Living, Seventh Year, Slytherin

Cameron Slaine - Living, Second Year, Gryffindor

Tears slip down Lucian's cheeks as he writes on the pages which he has been confiding in for so long. His writing becomes much more harsh and he begins not caring what it looks like as long as it is written, as if he was trying to rid himself of the memory of the one person he loved.

Dejection, unfortunate, pitiful, pathetic, dismal... Whatever you want to call my state of mind. If there was a peak to my solitary nefarious life, this would be it. My love and my life left me all because I was a fool. She handed me my heart back in pieces and once again I am torn. I love Lani still because she is my only chance for happiness or was, or maybe still is, I don't know. I'm lost in her words that she finally wrote to me, she didn't want me anymore for who I had become. I'm not the Lucian that she loved, and if I'm not... What am I?

He dips his quill into his shadow ink, tears pouring down his cheeks as he writes ever harsher onto the paper before him. His feelings of hate for himself and his love for Lani combining to become a rage not heard of.

Really? What am I?! I would love to ask anyone this for an answer... What? Am I an [censored]? An unintelligent moron? An idiot? Or maybe some word that no one has even heard of. Everyone has a name for me, but truly, what is the darkness inside me? The shadow that haunts my dreams and my reality. The evil that resides in me, forming my hunger for power and knowledge. But if I had never wanted this, Lani would still be with me. It is because of -me- that she left and will never come back even if I beg her... Truly, I am moron in all ways. What about everyone else? They must be laughing. 'Poor little Ravenclaw seventh year' No one cares... Not anymore....

Looking toward the mirror for a moment. Standing, he walks toward the misshaped image. For once, it was normal, his face was the way it was supposed to be and it showed his outside appearance only. He closed his eyes and smoothed his hair back with a sigh. When he opened his eyes again, there it was. The redoubtable face returned and seemed to almost laugh at him. With a horrid shout, Lucian slammed the mirror on the floor, smashing it to pieces and staring at himself in the shattered shards of the mirror.

_________________
Life is at best a dream and at worst a nightmare from which you cannot escape.
- Mysterious Stranger Manuscripts

Lucian Vent - Living, Expelled, Location Unknown

Jacob Green - Living, Seventh Year, Hufflepuff

Rurian Blackwing - Living, Seventh Year, Slytherin

Cameron Slaine - Living, Second Year, Gryffindor