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| Book of Sam, Volume I http://forums.wohp.net/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=3048 |
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| Author: | Samantha [ Fri May 29, 2009 2:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Book of Sam, Volume I |
Well, it’s a gorgeous day at Camp Love. I have to say, I wasn’t sure when I read that sign. But it really has been lovely. And exactly what I needed. Greg, Sierra, Seril, Nathaniel, Tyson and some others have been camping here, and for some reason, just being outside, feeling the grass, hearing the birds. It’s good for my soul. My soul, do I even wanna go there. Sure, why not. That is, after all, life’s occupation. Self examination. I’m not exactly sure I like what I’ve been seeing lately. It’s been a rather unkempt mess and hodge-podge of moral wishi-washiness and fluff. Not the substantial stuff of strong character and personal integrity. Realizing that I have lost my beloved Connor forever has been...hard. And then I deny it and say maybe he’s not really gone. Maybe this too, shall pass. I find myself making decisions based on what he would have wanted for me. Or even acting like him, in some regards. Taking on his characteristics. I guess that’s my way of keeping him in my life. Wherever he is, I love him. I always will. How do I reconcile that with moving on? Moving on sounds so horrible, so heartless. As if denying or somehow trying to undo everything Connor and I had together. Which is impossible, frankly. I refuse to join the ranks of romantic lemmings currently studying at Hogwart’s. It’s ridiculous. I am definitely too good for tha.t There I go, sounding like Connor again. *big happy smiley face* So much I loved about him that I can take with me. Ebuillient self esteem. *another inky grin* Self pride. Not stooping. Not comporomising. Tempering these qualities with my own personality is important, but I hope I can do so without melting them down into an unrecognizable mush. Anyway, like I said, it’s a gorgeous day here at Camp Love. Life is good. Life is really, really good. *happy smiley face* |
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