"What are you doing?" She hissed.
"Going to write in an old book." She replied simply.
"It was rhetorical." She sighed.
"Yes. I know." She nodded, flicking through her old work.
"Then why did you bother answering?" She rolled her eyes.
"Why did you ask?"
"Don't answer a question with a question."
"Yeah. It's annoying." She agreed.
"Then why don't you leave?" She teased. She spent a few minutes flicking through work years old.
"I remember that assignment..." She whispered.
"Yes. What happened to that teacher?" She didn't stop turning the pages.
"He found a new job. In that high school up in Bratville." Her sarcasm, although not directed at the other two, stung.
"Why are you so bitter?" She wondered out loud.
"Because you two have the heart."
"I do not hoard the bigger half!" She exclaimed, irritated.
"But you've the largest part of the brain."
"And I've none."
"Yes. And you prove it very well." She sneered.
"You're awful."
She shrugged. "I never claimed to be nice."
"Here we are." She stopped turning the pages.
"Ah yes. Now to confess ourselves and end up in a madhouse with medicine shoved down our throat every hour." She hated that medicine.
"I'm not a complete idiot." She sounded hurt. After a few seconds, she responded.
"That's really quite clever."
"Perhaps you've a small, pointless section of our brain."
"I hope so." She poised her pen, ready to write, when a strange thought came to her mind.
"Yes. As long as the Threat keeps being so obsessed with her, she is."
"Are we going to do anything about it?"
"She doesn't sound like she wants it."
"No point in helping a lost cause. We'll probably end up messing it up. You will, at least."
"Can we kill him some day?"
"I'm already planning it. Don't worry."
"Oh, I'll always worry. Never doubt that."
She wrote absent-mindedly in the book:

11/3/2010

Eht Nus si demood. Eht Taerht si eht nosaer.

"Isn't that a cheerful first passage?" She murmured to herself.
She ignored her sarcasm. "Doesn’t that strange song come in mind?"
"Yes, actually. It does."
She wrote the lyrics in her strange way:

I wenk a lrig,
Ehs saw os gnuoy.
Os lluf fo smaerd,
Os ydaer rof evol.

I wenk a yob,
Eh saw os gnuoy.
Os lluf fo maets,
Os ydaer rof tsul.

Emoclew ot eht dlrow.

"It describes the Threat and the Sun perfectly… Unfortunately for her."

"Why must we be such an airhead?" She whined.
"As long as the public buys it, we’re safe."
"Yes, but what if it’s becoming tiresome? I long to be able to scream at their filthy, smirking, mocking faces and watch them curl up and die under my heel."
"Why do you bother asking questions? Especially rhetorical ones. You know we know." She sighed as she leant her head against the wall.
"It’s not my fault I’m stuck with you two imbeciles!"
"Why can’t we just get along for once? If we keep bickering, someone may catch us." She glanced around the area.
"You’re always so paranoid. Just give it a rest." She closed her eyes and breathed shallowly.
"What are we even doing here?"
"Hiding, I suppose. We used to come here at the beginning of the year."
"We were so foolish. Always changing our place and dressed anonymously. Then the Threat found us. Why didn’t we stay in that dormitory in the first place?"
"The moving was your idea, although you dislike admitting it."
"I want to hurt something." Her eyes danced around the dark, damp room. She stood quietly.
"How about that stupid parrot? He’s been asking to be abused since we first laid eyes upon his empty head."
"Who thought it was a good idea to teach it swear words?"
"Not mine."
"Nor mine, though I wish it was."
"Must’ve been the Bane. He always meddled with things. He’ll get himself slaughtered one day due to his nosiness."
"What about the Princess? She isn’t as innocent as she appears."
"I knew she was trouble the day she was born. How old were we?"
"I’m not sure. I think we were a toddler, so three?"
"We’re lucky the Guardians thought we were just child’s play then."
"But then the medicine came."
"Because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut."
"You mean 'we'." She corrected.
"Yes, yes. We." She hated being associated with them and they knew it.

She stood up, a malicious gleam in her eye and a cold smirk on her fair face. She brushed a strand of her hair back, taking a step towards the center of the room. With her left hand, she reached into her pocket and took out her wand. “Don’t look so frightened, my Marionette.” She paused, crouching over. “Do you prefer the right hand or left hand?” Her eyes followed the fragile, curved body. “I see. I’ll make it painless for you, I promise.” She placed her wand in her right hand. “Walnut Phoenix Feather, did you know? It is supposed to be fairly powerful, so it shan’t hurt much.” She smiled kindly and waved her wand at her prey. “Petrificus Totalus.” The tiny body went stiff. She grinned. She loved it when she was in complete power. “Incendio.” She tapped her left forefinger on her bottom lip as it burned, slowly and agonizingly. “Sting.” The jolt went through the animal visibly.

“Pity it didn’t last longer. I like playing with our food.”
“Are we evil?”
“I don’t think so. After all, we’re only following our instincts.”
She retrieved her book, and then worked quickly.

11/4/2010

Ew dellik gnihtemos taht tnow eb dessim. Ruo tsrif Ettenoiram.
Ti tndid tsal gnol hgoune ot eb nuf.

“I’m scared.” She whispered to the emptiness. Nobody responded. The silence scared her. The dead, dull silence gnawed from inside her gut outwards, like a terrible, plummeting dread coupled with hunger. “Are you there?” The tears burned her eyes as they crept. “Why aren’t you talking to me? What have I done wrong?” She questioned the air.
“Please don’t act so terrified.”
“Who are you?” She stammered.
“Have you forgotten me?” The voice was soothing, calming and like a mother’s caress to her.
“Where are the others?” She closed her eyes, but the drops still slid down her face.
“They’re coming.”
“How long must I wait?”
“As long as you want to wait, my darling.”
“But I want them now. Are they quarantining me?” The thought shook her.
“I am not them. I cannot tell you what they think. I’d love to, but I can’t; unless you want me to lie to you.”
“I… I’ll wait.” She crawled into a tight ball. After a few moments that stretched like years, she heard her scornful voice.
“Are you really such a coward? We can’t leave you alone for a few minutes without you panicking. You act like we left you in a lion’s den.”
“It was three hours.” She whispered it, feeling pathetic. She opened her eyes and rubbed them furiously. She hated how she felt them become swollen.
“I don’t see why you’re so dependent on us. Sometimes you need to stand on your own, you know.”
“You’ve been with me my whole life. Do you even know how awful it is to be abandoned like that?” Her eyes searched the ceiling, following the lazy patterns. “I tried and tried to find you, but you never came. You never answered. You forsook me. You didn’t warn me. It just happened. Do you know how that can tear you apart? Do you have any idea how I felt without your guidance?” For once in her life, she started questioning all of the things she always assumed the answers to.

For a terrible moment, she thought they had left her again. Her eyes glanced towards the towering door.

“Yes. We know exactly how it is. We’ve all had our turns.” Her voice came as a murmur.
“You two are weaklings. Am I supposed to be touched by your theatrical displays?” She scolded. “You just seek attention and you fear being left alone. Why didn’t you just play with your toys or something? Surely you can walk, talk and think without using someone as a crutch the whole time?”
“It would have been easier if I had some sort of foresight.” She lowered her gaze to her feet.
“I don’t see how you can’t just improvise. We’ve done it. She-“ Her harsh voice was directed to her for a split second before refocusing on her. “-has done it. I can’t see how you should be any different.”
“What happened during the time we were gone, anyway?” Her tone was curious, like she was some sort of strange science experiment.
“Hell.” She paused. “Promise me one thing.”
“What?” But she already knew.
“Don’t ever leave me again.”

Hours later, she remembered something. She rushed to her room and snatched her book from her drawer.

11/5/2010

I tem a wen Eno. Eht egnarts gniht saw taht ti saw elam.

She grinned at herself in the mirror. Her smile faded as she inserted a contact gingerly. She blinked and admired her mismatched eyes for a few seconds before placing the left contact in. Her eyes searched her own blank face. She smirked faintly. She ran her hand through her cropped hair, letting out a barely audible sigh. She looked to her black towel. She grinned again, loving that no matter how many colors the towel endures; it shall always remain that dark, foreboding color. She turned quickly, to see the back of her head. Her elbow bumped something. She looked to it. An eyebrow rose. She picked the mirror up in her hand.
“So that is what really we look like?” She muttered, flashing the mirror to look at herself at different angles.
“Not as ugly as you expected?” She gazed at the mirror, her eyes cold.
“I’m not sure what I expected.” She replied thoughtfully.
“We look nicer like this, I think.” She piped in cheerfully.
“You are so strange!” She chuckled. “You are always paranoid, yet always positive! A paranoid optimist...”
“I dislike it, personally.”
“All the more reason for her to continue then.” Her eyes sparkled playfully in her reflection for a moment.
Suddenly, in one swift motion, the mirror smashed against the floor. The other two stood aghast for a few seconds in shocked silence.
“Do not tease me.” She growled.
“We… didn’t…” She blustered. “You know we weren’t…”
Quietly, she leant down and looked at herself in the shard. “Why must you destroy everything? You are so violent, yet you have to reason. You have no goal. Just mindless violence.”
“And you are a hypocrite. You are crying over broken glass!” She spat. “You! Of all people! You who tortures pitiful, meaningless creatures to their slow, excruciating deaths! Don’t you dare say you are not like me! Don’t you dare say that I am any different to you!”
“You’re right.” She whispered. “But that was uncalled for.”
“Half of the things we do every day are uncalled for! Why should this be any different?” Her temper was short. Her fuse was swiftly running towards its end.
“Because... it didn’t do anything to us. Because it never harmed us… but now it will.” She watched the spots of blood form on her fingers with a grim curiosity, an absent-minded gaze following the accumulating sharp pain.

She sat down on the edge of the bench, massaging her forehead, as if it would help sort her thoughts. She bounced on the bench slightly before taking out a quill and her book.

11/13/10

Fi I dias I ma yrros rof ton gnitirw, I dluow eb gniyl.
Os Lli tsuj evael uoy a regnol yrtne naht lausu.


Enigami fi uoy dah tneps ruoy elohw efil yb a edisaes.
Uoy era gniklat ot enoemos.
Neht eht dnuorg srettahs woleb ruoy teef.
Uoy raeh eht yks tilps htiw a elbirret kcarc.
Lla uoy ees si ssenkrad.

Tub ruoy seye era ediw nepo.
Siht sehcterts no rof sruoh –
Ro si ti setunim?
Uoy tnod wonk.

Ti tnseod rettam eromyna.
Uoy elbmuts dnuora ydnilb.
Uoy esu eht sregnarts ot pleh uoy,
Tub yeht tnod dnatsrednu:
Rieht dlrow si llits tcefrep.

Uoy era gnihton.
Tuohtiw eht Elddim dna eht Dne,
Ereht si on Gninnigeb.

Ylteiuq, uoy nigeb ot ezilaer gnihtemos.
Uoy raeh eht aes.
Uoy raeh eht eno gniht taht uoy denrael ot erongi.
Tub it saw syawla ereht,
Rof tahw si a edisaes tuohtiw a aes?

Retfa a wef setunim fo tsuj gninetsil,
Gninetsil ot eht yballul fo eht sevaw,
Ruoy dlrow semoc kcab.

Uoy ees eht yks niaga.
Uoy leef eht dnuorg niaga.
Uoy erongi eht aes niaga.

Yhw eb a oreh nehw
Eht eno mohw uoy evas
Tnseod neve rebmemer?

Etipsed lla uoy raeh em yas; lla uoy ees em od; yreve thguoht uoy wonk;
Yreve gnileef uoy drocer; I ma llits a ylno dlihc ohw sah tsol reh yaw ni efil,
Dna I evah nesohc uoy ot eb ym ediug.

Reverehw uoy dael, I llahs wollof.
Revetahw uoy yas, I llahs netsil.
Rof retteb ro rof esrow, I od ton wonk.
I yrram ym luos ot uoy.

Peek ti efas ni ruoy htnirybal fo sepag.
Dna ton tsuj rof ym ekas.

Eno tsal gniht:
Ruo Retsamdaeh sah denruter.
Mi ton erus morf erehw, tub I kniht
Sgniht era tuoba ot egnahc.

A smile curled on her lips. “Anyone who tries to read our mess of thoughts would surely become as insane and irrational as us.”
“But is that necessarily true? First, they have to decipher our words, assuming they don’t glance at it and dub it gibberish; and then they have to put in the effort to read through our entries. We have become slightly cross eyed just writing these. Finally, they would need to comprehend the words written, and only we know what we were thinking when we wrote.”
“We… or me?” She muttered, reading through the passage and correcting mistakes.
“Are you suggesting that you are somehow hiding something from us?” She raised a brow.
“Perhaps, perhaps not.” She shrugged in an apathetic manner. “Sometimes I wonder if I hide things from myself, so no doubt there would be secrets among us.”
“But… how can you live with those of whom you cannot trust?” She seemed puzzled by the thought.
“Just like I do.” She smiled kindly. “I’m not sure if the Headmaster can fully trust some students or staff. So we’re not that different, are we?”
“No. We’re all human after all... whatever that may mean.” She paused. “The public knows he’s crazy, but they still let him go around freely.”
“That’s because there’s no danger of him going crazy with a knife.” She grinned. “He’s a harmless lunatic!”
“But it’s still nice to have someone like that. It’s better than being alone.”
“But we already are.”
Her voice came as a whisper that could have easily been mistaken for a breeze.

“I’m not sure how much longer I’ll believe that.”

She stared at the ceiling. The other two had been arguing the whole night. She had occupied herself by finishing assignments. She had occasionally drifted into sleep. But her dreams were troubled. So she had woken up. She looked to the pile of work her rat was peacefully snoozing on. She envied the creature fiercely for a moment. She was confused about how to feel. The other two bickered viciously. They gave her a headache. Again.
“We should leave him alone! It will obviously pass! The Sun deserves him! She deserves some happiness!”
“No. If what he did was genuine, it could be useful.”
“’It’ could be very useful? He’s not a toy!”
“The Sun can surely survive without him.” She said coldly.
“But with what cost? We can’t just take him like that!”
“Yes we can. And we will. Learn the take opportunities as they arise.”
“But the Sun- she’ll hate us!”
“It was an infatuation. She’ll get over it. There are plenty of boys pleading her attention.” She brushed the matter aside.
“Like the Threat?”
She stiffened. “Yes… the Threat. But he is occupied by the Shadow.”
“I think I quite like him.” She said thoughtfully. “He listens.”
“But it won’t last long! He’ll ‘get over it’!” She completely ignored the other girl.
She sighed and slid the lazy rat off her work. She read the lines and corrected mistakes. She knew it didn’t matter. It always turned out strange and her intention distorted. She closed her eyelids; it took too much energy to keep them open. She loved it like this. She was blind and could not see. It was a relief to her. She could still hear, but not seeing meant she could imagine.
“But he won’t get over the Sun.” She said triumphantly.
“I said I quite like him.” She reiterated flatly.
“Who? The Threat?”
She raised an annoyed eyebrow.
“The Curiosity?” She seemed surprised.
“Yes. The Curiosity.”
“But why?” She sounded amazed.
“Because not only does he listen to me, but to other people, too!” Her eyes snapped open angrily. “He makes it a point to understand! He’s patient and kind and smart! He’s got a brain and a heart! That’s more than either of you could say about yourself!” She blurted out furiously. It took her awhile to realize the words came from her mouth. She swung her legs over the side of the bed. Her dream had shattered and been lost, like a comet to the sky, the moment she had had opened her eyes. She waited for the other two to respond. They didn’t respond immediately, but she could hear them whispering.
“It’s two against one.” She finally stated.
“It seems so.” She sighed.
She rolled her eyes and took something from her pocket. She turned the left over candy around in her hand curiously. She unwrapped one and sniffed it. “What strange dreams she must have.” She muttered quietly as she popped one in her mouth.
“But she’s powerful. Such raw strength on our side could help us a great deal.” She chewed the candy thoughtfully.
“I don’t think she’ll teach us anything. I think she’s just trying to get us to work for ourselves.”
“Perhaps, perhaps…” She shrugged slightly.
“She is still valuable. We can learn a lot from her, and possibly use her, too.”
“Let’s not consider taking advantage of someone’s help whom we haven’t yet gotten that close to yet. For all we know, she may be trying to use us to her own devices.”
“Whatever would she need us for?” She raised an eyebrow.
“She pushed us into the circle.”
“True.”
“Right now the Shadow or the Curiosity is whom we should probably focus on.”
“But what about-“
“No. She’s right. We move on as the world around us does. We simply defer our actions when something demands our attention.”
“So what are we going to do?”
“We are going to play the Firedancer’s game, however foolish it may be. She survived this long; she can surely inform us how to do the same, hm?”
“But what if she can’t? What if it fails?”
“What if what fails? Whether her plan to do whatever works or not or even exists, we shall still be stronger and wiser by the end. ”
“And the Curiosity?”
“We’ll accept him as he comes. If he perseveres, that is. We can only assume that it wasn’t a dare or something.”
“But who would dare him to do that?”
“My point precisely.”
“So it’s a win-win.” She smirked faintly. She glanced over her shoulder; despite the fact she knew she was alone. She took out her plain workbook.

11/14/10

Yeht yas taht ot evol rehtona, uoy tsum tsrif evol flesruoy;
Tub I kniht sti yltcefrep elbissop ot etah flesruoy dna llits evol enoemos
Htiw lla ruoy traeh.

Emos elpoep nac ksatitlum.

Niap si eht ecirp fo smaerd, tub I rednow, seod ti evah ot eb ruoy nwo niap?

Emos elpoep era deraperp ot llik rof edirp.
Emos elpoep era deraperp ot llik rof tsul.

Tsul dna edirp era snis.
Erehw era eht elpoep deraperp ot llik rof eht seutriv?

Eryeht lla gnidih, tnera yeht?
Tub ew tnera.
Dna erew ydaer ot llik rof gnihtyna.

She stumbled into her room, her head still throbbing. She shut her door and leaned on it, sighing. She saw a pair of eyes staring out at her from under her bed. She smirked as she walked over to her bed. She rubbed her temples and looked around the obsessively neat room. Her bookshelf was empty. She smiled slightly as she pulled the book from her pocket and turned it over in her hands. She opened the drawer of her nightstand and tucked the book under some clothes. Closing the drawer thoughtfully, she allowed her gaze to wander.
“Now what?” She asked simply.
“This is somewhat difficult to resolve.”
“We were with other people, too. Maybe we should have cast?”
“And get into trouble?”
“We may not have succeeded.” She sighed.
“Why is it always Slytherin? Why is it never a Gryffindor or a Ravenclaw?” She ran a hand through her hair irritably.
“Because Slytherin is full of slime. Very few of them will actually be successful. They’ve no subtlety.”
“Then why is it us? He didn’t even know.”
“Wrong place at the wrong time, I suppose.”
“Do you think the Prefects are going to do something?” She turned and sat on the edge of her bed.
“He knocked four children half his year unconscious. I would be genuinely surprised if they didn’t.”
“He’s almost as insane as us,” She said thoughtfully. “But at least we don’t wander around talking about making the Sun our concubine or about how we’ll rule the world when we’re older.” She frowned.
“I hate rash people.” She smirked.
“Why must you two give me a headache?” She pinched the bridge of her nose, her teeth grinding slightly.
“It’s not our fault that when we think, we do so in opposite directions.” She seemed annoyed.
“Could you two please agree just once?” She pleaded. “You can’t say you don’t care about pain.”
“I try… but I can’t see the appeal in most of her ideas.”
“Neither can I in yours.”
“You two are just being difficult.” She stated.
“No we’re not!” She replied stubbornly.
She rolled her eyes, not responding. She opened the third shelf down on her nightstand, and then popped up the board. She rummaged among her hidden belongings before pulling out her book.

11/17/10

I tnod tnaw sih yhtapmys, tub eh sevig ti yawyna.
Nehw eh skool ta em ekil taht, I kniht ym traeh skaerb.

I tnod tnaw ot ekam mih das.

Eht Noil syas Lli eb a suoregnad rennuts nehw I worg pu, tub I tnod tnaw ot worg pu.
Mi efas ta loohcs. Refas naht I dluow eb tuo ereht, ta trael.

I eil semitemos. I tnod tnaw ot, tub I od. Semitemos I kniht I eil ot flesym.
I yas taht Mi lamron, dna taht enoyreve sruffus morf tahw I reffus morf.
Staht ton eurt.

I tnevah deil ot eht Ytisoiruc. I dah ot pots flesym semitemos, tub I tndid eil.
Mi yppah tuoba taht.

Tub I dlot mih emos hturt hguorht noissimo ta eno tniop.
Mi ton yppah tuoba taht.
Ebyam I dluohs evah dlot mih. I tndid tnaw ot ekam mih das.
Sih noitcaer ot eht tsirf flah edam em kniht.
I yrt ton ot kniht tuoba stnemom ekil esoht.
Ti spleh ot llud eht niap.
Tub nehw I draeh sih ecoiv dna was sih noisserpxe, ym draug ekorb.
Ti saw tsamla ekil eh denepoer ym seye; tub I detnaw ot esolc meht niaga.
I referp ton ot daert no hcus seiromem.

I epoh eh tnseod emoceb das.
Eht Lanoisuled si leurc.

Eht Ytisoiruc si lufituaeb ni sih nwo yaw.

She tapped her bottom lip thoughtfully, and then winced as her mouth reminded her of its current tenderness. She licked her lips, and pulled out her wand. “Lumos.” She whispered, putting her former workbook back in its hiding place. She laid down in her bed, some loose thoughts floating in her head, and fell asleep.

She heard those thoughts disintegrate in her dreams.

She lowered her pen and stared at the three words she never hoped to write. She toyed with the idea of sending the almost surprisingly short message. She wanted to send it to him, but she couldn’t see the point. She glanced over at her owl. It stared at her with a bored expression. She turned her gaze to her writing. She sighed softly as she tore the page from her Muggle notebook. She folded the paper into thirds and tied it with an emerald thread. The owl cooed suspiciously. She smiled at it, some sadness in her eyes, as she attached the message to its leg. It cooed again.
“The Curiosity.” She replied.

The owl pushed off of her arm, leaving her alone in the Owlery. She looked around the room, feeling eyes stare out at her from various places. She stuffed her hands in her pockets roughly, walking over to the window. She stared out at the grounds with an almost thoughtful expression on her mostly blank face. She tore her gaze from the strangely forsaken grounds to open her notebook again. Her pen hovered over a page for a few seconds in hesitation before starting to write.

11/19/10

Eht tghuoht fo htaed seracs em.
I tnod tnaw ot eid.
I tnod tnaw enoyna ot eid.
Si ti oot hcum ot epoh ym reyarp lliw eb derewsna?

Ti dluow eb cinori fi enoemos dnuof uoy retfa ew deid.
Neht yeht dluoc ees eht hturt fo su.
I rednow tahw yeht dluow kniht.
Tahw dluow yeht od fi yeht wenk mohw yeht erew yllaer gniklat ot?

Ew dluohs yrt ot ekat ruo enicidem ylraluger niaga.
Tub ew etah enicidem.

I tnod leef ekil gniyd htiw os ynam sterces tfel dlotnu.
Llew Lli tsuj evah ot yarp.

She sighed.

A nightmare is a dream that causes strong emotional responses from the sleeper, typically fear/horror.
The dream may contain situations of danger, discomfort, or psychological or physical distress.



She had had one.

She reread the word he wrote. Why? She didn’t know how she felt. She stared at it, some thoughts floating and others racing through her mind. She came to a decision and wanted to do it before she lost her nerve.

She turned herself towards him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, embracing him in a sideways hug. She buried her face into his shoulder. She felt him tense from her touch. She didn’t know what to expect. The action could’ve been suicidal for all she knew. She felt him turn his head in the direction of where his brother was. She released him, smiling slightly as he turned back to her with a confused expression.
“I’m not as much anymore.” She whispered, her eyes searching his face. He stared at her for several seconds before nodding once.
“Huh?” His brother looked around the pillar at them. “Did I miss something? I don’t think I zoned out…”
“Thank you for caring, though.” She told him sincerely, ignoring the brother. You're the only one who does.
“O-okay.” He clearly didn’t know how to react. “I’m… You’re welcome.” She smiled again to him before turning back to her former place. The brother tilted his head confusedly. After failing to get response, he turned back the way he was facing.
“People at this school sure do hug a lot.” The first boy stated after a while. Really?!
“Oh?” His brother asked.
“I’m not Star.” She laughed quietly. Boy, are we not. He grinned widely, raising his book to try and hide it.
“Mmhm. Though, it’s not just Star. Eve’s got into the habit, too.”
“Eve’s crazy.” The brother claimed.
“Who isn’t?” She asked.
“True.”
“I figured you’d say that.” The brother stated. She grinned. “There are different types of crazy.” So we've noticed.
“Yeah.” She muttered, almost absent-mindedly. If only they knew.
“She’s just cheery and hyper a lot.” The brother continued. “You’re seriously crazy.” We didn't notice.“See the difference?”
“I’m… wait, what?” She laughed. They don’t know half of it.
“Exactly.” The brother yawned, stretching.
“It’s better than being sane, though.” She said with a hint of defensiveness. Sane people don't have hearts. She assumed they probably couldn’t detect the tone of voice that was strange for her.
“Never said it wasn’t, did I?” The brother replied.
“No. But I was just stating it.” She answered. Insanity is a shield. I wonder when they’ll resort to it?
“Mhmm.” The brother nodded. Probably never.

She stared out towards the window. What were they going to do? They had slipped in the heat of the moment.

“You jerk!” She had yelled.
“It was a joke!” He had replied. “I didn’t actually push you! It was a joke, okay?”
“Yeah. Not funny.” She had kicked a stone into the water. He ran a hand over his face and mumbled.
“Whatever. I’m sorry, okay?” An apology was not what she was looking for: apologies are for the weak.
“I’ve got a headache.” It was partially true. The other girl had a headache, but she was getting bored of him. She walked over to the dogs, crossing her arms.
“Did I tell you two to stop?” The other boy had asked the animals. They whimpered. “Oh, so you’re hungry? Get your own freaking food.”
“Shush. Just do it.” Her irritation was starting to stop her brain from registering her words before she said them.
“They’re not even going to be able to make it, no point in keeping this going.” He had said reasonably. He’s so much like his brother.
“Fine. And I suppose you’ve a better suggestion to do with our time, then?” She jerked her gaze from the laboring animals to him.
“No, but standing here watching dogs dig isn’t really us doing anything. Is it?” He said irritably.
“If you’re not content with watching them, you can help them!” She uncrossed an arm to point at the holes.

“We can’t just apologize. He knows something is off.” She shook her head.
“Maybe we could just tell hi-” She began.
“No!” She exclaimed.
“I don’t see wh-”
“Don’t you see? We’d be in a madhouse! Or an asylum! We can’t let anyone know; least of all him. He’s a Slytherin. Do you know what he could do with a secret like that? He’d twist it and use us to his own devices.”
“I wonder where the Curiosity is.” She said absent-mindedly, turning the book over. “I wonder if he’s noticed that his book is gone?”
“Who cares?” She replied irritably.
“I think we should read it. Just to get a possible glimpse into his head.”
“No.” She shook her head. “We’ve already us to worry about. We don’t really need to concern ourselves about how his or anyone else’s brains work.”
“Are you two seriously that stupid? You don’t even want to know how his mind works, yet you propose that we try to do it anyway.” She was annoyed.
“Well! It would be better than just holding on to it! I don’t really see what’s so bad about wanting to know about how someone works. Or how they don’t.”
“Knowledge is dangerous. Part of the reason why we aren’t telling the Brother.”
“Have you thought about it even for a second? Or are you just saying your thoughts as they pop into your pointless brain?” She snarled.
“I at least know what I want! All you ever do it talk about doing something. When are we going to do something?”
“When we can trust you not to do something stupid! You’ll mess everything up if we work too soon!” She screamed back. “Why can’t you just wait? For a few years? It’s not that long! We can’t afford recklessness!”
“I don’t understand why you two are always so violent! That’s what I can’t see.” She looked out the window.
“Because you’re too simple-minded to understand the likes of us! You’ve always been the least smart.”
“Apparently. But I even know when to close my mouth. I’m not sure about you two at times.”

“But what about the Apprentice? We’ve basically alienated him at this point.”
“Who cares if we’ve lost the favor of him?” She rolled her eyes, leaning back in the chair lazily. “He was basically useless anyway.”
“Compromise? You know that the Curiosity won’t last forever. What then?”
“I didn’t decide to tell him.”
“I swear I - we – needed to talk to someone or we’d just explode some day.”
“But how can you just go ahead and trust him like that? How is it possible to just do that?”
“He promised.”
“So?” She gave a short, sour laugh. “Boys promise many things. They’re not to be trusted.”
“That’s a stereotype.”
“It’s the truth.” She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t argue with me. After all, I know best.”
“Yes. I know. But even you must admit it isn’t healt-”
“What does our health matter? You know what our main priority is. And you also know that it isn’t telling people.”
“Oh! But it’s wonderful that there’s someone else like us.” She grinned.
“It is, isn’t it?” She smiled with some sadness. “We can share the burden together.”
“And then when he leaves? What then?”
“Let’s just focus on the present.” She closed her eyes and shook her head.
“Why? Is the thought of such a thing too much for you? You didn’t think it mattered when you told him.”
“I trust him.”
“With our life. You trust him with our future. Our future. I don’t care if you are locked away for the rest of your years, but I don’t want to be stuck with you in that hell.”
“I love you, too.” She sighed and smirked faintly.
“He’s dangerous, you know. But I suppose that makes him more interesting.”
“Yes. So we’ll need to be careful.”
“Or at least you two do.”
“Who do you think he likes the best?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“It’s a question… I didn’t know there are different types.”
“He knows us better than the Sun, the Threat, the Shadow, the Brother and the Lion combined.” She stated.
“That makes him special!”
“I think so.” She nodded thoughtfully.
“I wonder if he likes his medicine. He hasn’t been taking it recently, he said.”
“I hate it.”
“We know.”
“He understands us quite well. It must be experience!”
“He has and always will confuse me.” She creased her eyebrows.
“I wonder if that’s how we are to him?”
“Maybe, but… it makes perfect sense yet none at all.”
“Because you can’t think.”
“Sometimes. Only sometimes I can’t think. But right now I can.” She took a pen from her pocket.

26/11/10

Eruoy ton euqinu.

Ton eromyna.

“You don’t have to, you know.” He had told her.
“I know.” She had replied.
She smiled.

“It’s alright.” He had smiled, closing his eyes again. She lifted her head from her hands and glanced between him and her palms. He seemed mostly asleep, occasionally shifting in his seat.
She leaned towards him and pressed her lips against his cheek. The screaming that had been echoing in her head swiftly grew to a hushed murmur. He’s better than medicine. He had smiled widely, opening his eyes tiredly after awhile. “Thank you.”
She had lowered her face, resting her forehead on his cheek and her chin on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

It was decided.
And they had had no say.

Progress.

“Yes!”
“No.”
“Yes!”
“No.”
“Yes!”
“Yes.”
“No! Wait… yes!”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter what you two decide.” She ventured. A moment later she regretted it dearly. The headache worsened as their expression of annoyance.
“Oh, but it does matter! A great deal more than your decision!”
“Your decisions are the worst kind. You think that just because you are the one who can take action that you know best. You don’t. You have me to thank for where we are today. Oh, and some of it is her fault.”
“Thank you for making my life a misery.” She replied in a monotone. The pain became nearly excruciating. She screamed into her pillow. The mental torture eased slightly and she whimpered.
“Now.” Her voice was icy. “As I was saying: we can’t.”
“But why?” She whined, unmoved by the scene that she had witnessed. “It’s so boring.”
“Then why don’t you have her do something?”
“Because she won’t let me!” She complained.
“No excuse. She even prefers you. Probably because I actually discipline her.” She shut her eyes more tightly.
“There’s no time to discipline, though.”
“There’s plenty of time. Like now.” She shook her head desperately. “Do you want me to show you?”
“No.” She replied quickly.
“Ah. See? You’re too soft. Now-”
“No!”
“Just watch.” She growled.
She heard her will shatter. She felt her heart crumble. She opened her eyes and saw her fingers were wet.
“Now you have to ensure the lessons sticks.”
She felt a despair grow. She heard soft whispers invade her vulnerable mind. They told her lies. Or at least she prayed they were lies. They played upon her fears; toyed with her doubts and poked at her insecurities. “Stop… please…” She managed to plead.
“Wonderful. It seems she’s ‘learnt’ something.” She released the shaken girl from her personal nightmare. “It’s good to practice now and then.” She smirked wickedly.
“I see.” She answered unsurely.
“I hope you now know how and why to ‘discipline’. Though I’m sure both of you are reminded of who is really in charge here.”

11/29/10

Eh lliw eb eht htaed fo em.