She was in a meadow, the sky a beautiful pale blue, fluffy white clouds circling overheard, the wind blowing her blonde hair, forcing it to whip around her face, the heather surrounding her in full bloom. A blonde haired child played a few feet away, no older than four, quiet giggles heard from her full red lips as she jumped into the air, relentlessly trying to catch the butterfly that flew a few inches away from her grasp. Suddenly, out of nowhere a group of men, no older than eighteen appeared on the other side of the field, all dressed in the same four colors, Red, Blue, Green, Yellow... Emily knew the boys well, too well, at different points in time, she had loved them all in different ways.

Furthest to the left stood Tom, not Tom as he appeared today, Emily's Tom, eleven years old, that goofy grin on his face, the picture of innocence, the one she threw away.

Beside Tom, Eric, the tall, muscular Gryffindor Beater that Emily had fallen for the first time she'd seen him, she was so young back then, so vunerable, so easy to manipulate... why had it taken so long for her to see it?

A Slytherin came next, the sunglasses gone, she hadn't seen him without them in a while, but then she remembered that this was Chase from the time she called him hers, he was one of the few she had regretted letting go of, she didn't even know why she had let him go.

The blue on the next boy was never very fashionable, Domi Trax stood grinning towards her, she knew what her relationship with him was about, sex. That was all either of them had wanted and they were both fufilled by the end of it.

The girl couldn't help but shake her head as her head turned towards Matt Pace, another blue. She knew what had happened with him, he had wanted Mai, not much else to say about that.

A man of around eighteen stood beside the Ravenclaw, God knows what caught in his dreadlocks, a yellow jacket hanging loosely from him. Creed Wyldhart, she only seduced him to get to Sierra, she had never expected to develop feelings for him, but she had, and he did what he always did, he left without a word. Shame.

Her heart always skipped a beat when she saw the next Gryffindor, Chance was everything to her, or so she thought, she had given him everything, and they had both thrown it away, she regretted nothing more and doubted she ever would.

No house color on the last man, just stark black eyes and pain in his expression. Samiar, Samiar who she had become infatuated with, she was drawn to him like no other, but she never truly loved him, no matter how much she had wanted too...


As Emily stood silently, her eyes darting from one end of the line to the other, she hadn't noticed the tall, mysterious man walk up behind her. As he reached out to place a hand on her lower back, her breath caught, her eyes closed and she was home, there was no better place in the world than beside him and she would fight forever to stay there. As he leant towards her ear, he muttered before turning to leave "Time to go little one." The last two words were spoken in his native tongue and as they were spoken, the small child came running over to take Emily's hand as Salem led her away. Suddenly the world dissolved, her eyes flickering open after a few moments, adjusting to the darkness that now enveloped her. She gasps quietly, looking up at her bed canopy as she muttered to herself "It's not him I don't trust, it's me......"

_________________
Emily Jade Hodgkins- Hufflepuff
Toni Smythe- Gryffindor
Elysia Dimitrious- To be announced

Emily sat at her desk in the common room, glancing around at her housemates before reaching into her backpack and pulling out a journal, flicking it open to the first page and removing her quill from the inkwell, in silence, she began to write...

Dear Whoeverthehellyouare,

Apparently, according to Ana, I talk too much about a certain Slytherin, I really do think she's wrong though, I barely mention Salem at all. I'm actually quite restrained about it, I'm quite proud of just how restrained I am actually...

When they gave me this stupid book... thing, I never thought I'd actually use it, but then I got thinking that it -is- a terrible waste not too, I mean, Karen would be very upset at all the trees that clearly had to die to make you, and we wouldn't want Karen upset, would we?

I wonder if Salem likes trees... I'll have to ask him.

It seems like Sierra's situation has calmed down, finally. Maybe now I won't have to act as a bloody chaparone, not that I minded, she is my best friend and all, I just really don't like being the third wheel all the time.

Did I mention how happy I am to have Salem home? I really missed him, apparently his brother didn't pass on the letters, which was pretty horrible of him, but I don't suppose you can expect much else from Royalty, can you? Salem's clearly one of a kind.


So anyway, I met this Slytherin who came back from a long absence today, I was mildly suprised when it turned out that he had dated Kestral before Salem, and I'm quite proud that I didn't wind up beating information on her out of him, I really was quite restrained you know. Speaking of restrained, Aribell (Who I actually quite like now) kept casting groping charms on me today, three times she got me! I may have overreacted slightly by cursing at her, but I really don't like to be touched by every Tom, [censored] or Aribell that tries, I do like my personal space you know. Karen said she was impressed at how restrained I was, I think I've had a good day today.


I wonder what tomorrow will bring, hopefully some good news from my Grandmother, I don't think I can live as a pauper for much longer. I haven't been shopping in three days and I am starting to get withdrawals.

Well, Goodnight I suppose, you have no idea how pathetic I feel writing in this stupid book by the way, I mean, the cover isn't even purple. Hmph.

Emily.

After closing the book, Emily slipped her journal back into her bag, returned the quill to the inkwell and went to bed without another word to anyone, sleeping a full night for the first time in days.

_________________
Emily Jade Hodgkins- Hufflepuff
Toni Smythe- Gryffindor
Elysia Dimitrious- To be announced

*Stuck to the next page of the black, leather bound journal would be a sheet of parchment, on the parchment are a hell of a lot of doodles, ranging from hearts, to stars, to spiral shapes, to flowers, in the centre is the following...*

Chance.

I'm trying not to pretend that it won't happen again and again like that
Never thought it would end, but you got up in my head and my head like that
You made me happy baby, but love is crazy, so amazing
But it's changing, rearranging
I don't think I can take anymore

Cuz the walls burned up and our love fell down
And it turned into whatever now we're saying never
Feel the fire cuz it's all around and it's burning
For forever and always
We gotta let it go, be on our way
Look for another day, cuz it ain't the same my baby
Watch it all fall to the ground
No happy ever after, just disaster

Didn't want it this way, I only wanted to say
Is I loved you right
Then your love went away, and I needed you to stay
But I can't wait for you to realize
All the things I gave you, made you change you
Your dreams came true
When I met you, now forget you
Don't want anymore

Look for another day, cuz it ain't the same my baby
Watch it all fall too the ground
No happy ever after, just disaster

You shot the bullet, you shot the bullet that killed me
Not feeling my heart beat, and now I was dying
I I've been through it, I I've been through the agony
And now my eyes I'm trying, trying, no more crying,
Lying's just a game,
To stand up straight and I'm all right cuz my loves on his way

_________________
Emily Jade Hodgkins- Hufflepuff
Toni Smythe- Gryffindor
Elysia Dimitrious- To be announced

*The page after Chance's song is filled by another, the doodles slightly different on this page, a rather more negative feeling perhaps? Skull and crossbones, hangman nooses and broken hearts litter the outside of the parchment.*

Eric.

Mr know it all
Well ya think you know it all
But ya don't know a thing at all
Ain't it something y'all
When somebody tells you something bout you
Think that they know you more than you do
So you take it down another pill to swallow

Mr bring me down
Well ya like to bring me down don't ya
But I ain't laying down, baby
I ain't going down
Can't nobody tell me how it's gonna be
Nobody gonna make a fool out of me
Baby you should know that I lead not follow

Oh you think that you know me, know me
That's why I'm leaving you lonely, lonely
Cause baby you don't know a thing about me
You don't know a thing about me

You ain't got the right to tell me
When and where to go, no right to tell me
Acting like you own me lately
Yeah baby you don't know a thing about me
You don't know a thing about me

Mr play your games
Only got yourself to blame
When you want me back again
But I ain't falling back again
Cause I'm living my truth without your lies
Let's be clear baby this is goodbye
I ain't coming back tomorrow

Oh you think that you know me, know me
That's why I'm leaving you lonely, lonely
Cause baby you don't know a thing about me
You don't know a thing about me

You ain't got the right to tell me
When and where to go, no right to tell me
Acting like you own me lately
Yeah baby you don't know a thing about me
You don't know a thing about me

So what, you've got the world at your feet
And you know everything about everything
But you don't
You still think I'm coming back but baby you'll see

_________________
Emily Jade Hodgkins- Hufflepuff
Toni Smythe- Gryffindor
Elysia Dimitrious- To be announced

*Another sheet of parchment with doodles much like the first is stuck on the next page, in the centre is the following...*

Friends.

I can't pretend
To know how you feel
But know that I'm here
Know that I'm real
Say what you want
Or don't talk at all
I'm not gonna let you fall
Reach for my hand
'Cause it's held out for you
My shoulders are small
But you can cry on them too
You used to brave the world
All on your own
Now we won't let you go, go it alone
Be who you wanna be
Always stand tall
Not gonna let you fall
Reach for my hand
'Cause it's held out for you
My shoulders are strong
But you can cry on them too
I never knew you could take me so far
I've always wanted to hope that you are the ones I need

_________________
Emily Jade Hodgkins- Hufflepuff
Toni Smythe- Gryffindor
Elysia Dimitrious- To be announced

*As Emily entered the Entrance hall, she looked around, seeing only a young Slytherin girl, she headed straight for the bench in the middle of the room, removing her journal and quill from her bag, she began to write the lyrics she had heard the week before at the club...*

Emily.

I wish today it will rain all day
Maybe that will kinda make the pain go away
Trying to forgive you for abandoning me
Praying but I think I'm still an angel away
Angel away, yeah strange in a way
Maybe that is why I chase strangers away
They got their guns out aiming at me
But I become near when they aiming at me
Me, me, me against them
Me against enemies, me against friends
Somehow they both seem to become one
A sea full of sharks and they all smell blood
They start coming and I start rising
Must be surprising, I'm just summising
Win, thrive, soar, higher, higher, higher
More fire

I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
To fly
To fly

Everybody wanna try to box me in
Suffocating everytime it locks me in
Paint they own pictures than they crop me in
But I will remain where the top begins
Cause I am not a word, I am not a line
I am not a girl that can every be defined
I am not fly, I am levitation
I represent an entire generation
I hear the criticism loud and clear
That is how I know that the time is near
So we become alive in a time of fear
And I ain't got no [censored] time to spare
Cry my eyes out for days upon days
Such a heavy burden placed upon me
But when you go hard your nay's become yay's
Yankee Stadium with Jay's and Kanye's

_________________
Emily Jade Hodgkins- Hufflepuff
Toni Smythe- Gryffindor
Elysia Dimitrious- To be announced

She was curled up in a white armchair in a dimly lit room, a bed in front of her, a dark haired man fast asleep under the covers. Her journal sat in her lap, a quill in her hand, thinking long and hard before writing on the next available page...

I've decided I should probably name you, everyone deserves a name and although you might not be a real person, you are in my head I suppose... Elizabeth, I'll name you Elizabeth after the woman in the pirate story... I liked Elizabeth.

We had a pirate storytelling session today, a man from Pinboria came, I think Sinistra has a thing for him, she was full of compliments, even he seemed uncomfortable with them all. The woman, despite her beauty, clearly knows nothing about men.

After the storytelling, I saw Creed, he came back, we talked, private things, you know... but, I suppose some of it got to me, I ended up crying on Steven Walkers shoulder, please don't ask why, I have no idea. I barely even like the boy, he is rather annoying. I suppose he was just there, as horrible as that sounds. The worst part was, Salem caught me sitting in Stevens lap while he was calming me down, I think he jumped to conclusions, I actually thought he might dump me for my stupidity, I couldn't have blamed him, he didn't, thank God. He did shout a bit though, told me he needed to go and calm down before he decapitated Steven with his bare hands.

Is it bad that I was a little bit smug when he said that? I've never had anybody be that protective over me before and I have to admit, it's nice to not need to be strong for once. I love him, Salem that is, not Steven. We were talking tonight and I think he thinks that I'm using him, which is absurd, I don't care who he is, what connections he has or who his parents are, to me, he's Salem. -My- Salem and he'll be treated as such, whether he likes it or not.

Back to bed I suppose, I hope he wakes in a better mood, I don't like grumpy Salem.

Goodnight, Emily.

Salem.

Before we turn out the light and close our eyes,
I'll tell you a secret I've held all my life,
It's you that I live for and you that I'll die
So I'll lay here with you, until the final goodbye.

As the girl stood, she tossed the journal onto the chair behind her, dumping the quill into her bag as she returned to the bed, laying beside the man she loved and slowly falling asleep.

_________________
Emily Jade Hodgkins- Hufflepuff
Toni Smythe- Gryffindor
Elysia Dimitrious- To be announced

She was simply sat on the floor, unmoving, her journal open in her lap, quill in her hand, her gaze not shifting from the parchment in front of her, her brow furrowed in a mixture of worry and confusion... after a while, she began to write...

I know I said I would name you, but you're not actually a you, you're a thing, things don't exactly matter much, I don't particularly like you and I definately don't want to write stupid things down in this paper that anybody could read. However, apparently, if I'm to aid in my recovery, I must, which is completely ridiculous because there is no cure from you, the doctors say that you're simply there, you're another part of me that they can't explain. I don't want you there, I don't want you whispering in my head all day long telling me things that I already know!

Leave me ALONE!

God, no wonder they think I'm crazy, look at what I'm writing. They're so patronizing, all of them, including him, they think they know me, they have no idea who I am, it's quite telling that Crest had to use her Legilimen skill on me to figure out if I was lying or not. That's trust for you, heh, she got more than she bargained for though, didn't she. Bet she regrets that now, they could be rid of me but no, she had to play the frickin' hero didn't she. God, why am I such an idiot, the only reason they're around, the only reason that they're being so sickeningly nice to me is because they think I'll do something stupid if they don't. Who needs them really? Not me that's for damn sure. Well next time I won't be so stupid, next time I won't hesitate, next time I WILL succeed.

I'd damn them all to hell, but when you think about it, most of them are already in it.

Emily.

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take.

_________________
Emily Jade Hodgkins- Hufflepuff
Toni Smythe- Gryffindor
Elysia Dimitrious- To be announced

*The journal laid open on the desk, no hesitation in her writing tonight, only confusion, worry and loss...*

"If I tell myself that I did the right thing, will I someday believe it? How can I when I know that I didn't. Mother was right, my instincts are terrible, we're taught to trust them, but when all they do is let you down, how can we?

What do I want from my life, the only person I was ever honest with about it is nowhere to be found, perhaps if I tell you my path to getting what I want will appear, or perhaps It really was only a dream...

A husband, I want a husband, that much I know. But will any man do? Is it too much to ask that I'm loved for me and that he shows no shame, that he doesn't hide it from the people that matter most? I'm starting to think the answer is yes.

Children, any man can give me those, I might not be the ideal choice for carrying and birthing children but the one thing those children will never doubt is my love for them.

A home that is united, where everyone is equal, where nobody needs to pretend to be more than they are. I'm fed up of my pretense and I'm convinced that if I keep it up, one day, it will kill me.


At one point I thought Salem could give me these things, I thought that if I loved him enough that it would be enough, now I realise it's not and never can be. I realise now that we are from two different worlds that are not meant to join and as much as it hurts, I have to let him go.


I honestly did think I was helping, I thought that if I stuck by the people I called friends that everything would work and we would show the world that it was all thats needed. I can't help thinking that the biggest fight of our lives isn't what might come at the castle, but what might happen between us. I get the feeling our fight is lost before it's even begun. I am at a complete loss, do I stay to die, or do I run and hide? Somebody please, tell me what I should do... "

_________________
Emily Jade Hodgkins- Hufflepuff
Toni Smythe- Gryffindor
Elysia Dimitrious- To be announced

As she looked out over the field surrounding the farm house, she pressed her forehead against the window, a heavy frown on her face. She'd come home for some peace and quiet, locked herself in her room so she could get lost in her dreams, but even they haunted her lately. The nightmares always seemed so real, she knew it was just a harmless dream, but there was such detail in it, she hadn't been able to drift back to sleep.

Dawn was arriving, the daylight shining down as Emily stood from her window seat, reaching for the fluffy white robe that hung on the hook behind her bedroom door. Fastening it securely over her nightclothes, she seized the door handle, pulling it roughly towards her before stepping out onto the landing. As she crept towards the stairs, she could have sworn she heard someone calling her, a deep, commanding male voice that she didn't recognise. Her head shook lightly, her eyes closing for a moment as she made her way down the staircase, her hand gripping the bannister as she went. A few moments later she was stood in front of her parents bedroom door, her right hand taking hold of the handle as her left rested lightly against the wood, she eased the door open, the hinges were well oiled, not making a noise as she slipped inside the blackened room. This was the time her parents slept, she knew this, if she could just make it to the bed without them waking, she might actually get some sleep today. As she turned to close the door behind her, a large hand gripped the edge of it, Emily gasped, stepping back and letting go of the handle, her eyes widening for a moment until she realised who it was. Her brother sneaked over the threshold, grinning mischieviously down at Emily, who narrowed her eyes in return, wrinkling her nose ever so slightly as she glanced from the blonde haired boy to the bed behind her, as he made a sudden leap for the bed, she made chase without thinking, the door slamming behind them as they raced for prime position between their parents.

Her father slept on the side closest to the door, Emily made a leap over him, landing with a thud between her parents, her brother jumping into the bed seconds after her, laughing as he landed on his stomach beside their mother, who was now very much awake.
"Julian Alexander, Emily Jade, what on earth are you doing?!" The woman did not sound happy, even in the darkness Emily could feel the glare coming from the woman, it was a glare she felt all too often, so she dived under the flowery quilt, pulling it up over her head as her father sighed, rolling onto his back as her brother grinned into the pillow.
"Good God, did Elephants invade the house?" Emily smiled as her fathers reassuring voice settled her down a bit, his strong, muscled arm wrapping around her and pulling her to him in half a hug.
"Don't be silly daddy, Julian is involved, he is much worse than an elephant!"
Her father chuckled, closing his eyes with the hopes of falling back to sleep. As she cuddled against him, her arm wrapped around his stomach, Julian rolling onto his side moving towards her and resting with his back against hers.
Within moments the family were fast asleep, only Emily remained awake, just laying silently in the peace and quiet she had finally found.

_________________
Emily Jade Hodgkins- Hufflepuff
Toni Smythe- Gryffindor
Elysia Dimitrious- To be announced

*The seventh year was sprawled out on her bed, her stomach against the mattress, her journal in front of her, a rather heavy frown on her face as she considered the last few days and the events that had taken place...*

I'm slipping, the slope is getting steeper again and I don't know how long I can hold on. The one person I want is gone, the people that are trying to hold me up will probably follow. We were at the pub last night, we got to discussing why I won't let him buy things for me, apparently I see the future of my relationship very negatively. What the -hell- does Karen Bonoa know? She's only ever had one with Matt Smith. Hah.

They wonder why I say when we break up instead of if, I say it because it always happens, I'm starting to wonder if it hasn't already and I just missed it completely. Am I really stupid enough for that to happen? Running seems like a good idea right now, but when he gets out of his slag's bed and notices I'm gone, how far will I have to go to be out of his reach? He has the ability to find me anywhere I fear, mind you, if I'm anything like Kestral for him, he won't even try. That's a blessing at least I suppose. Is it too much to ask for him to want me, to fight for me, to contact me? He says that I'm not to let my male friends comfort me, that he should be the one to do it, but how can he when he's not even here? Who am I supposed to go too? Sierra or Liss? Because they don't have enough problems without hearing me whine about my relationship, or lack of one. I left him once and it crushed me, completely and utterly, I just hope I can find the strength this time to see it through. Why did I have to give him such a hold on me? I really am a prize idiot aren't I.
Emily


*As she finished her entry, she slammed the book shut, rolling onto her back and staring up at the canopy above, a soft sigh leaving her lips as she closed her eyes, trying to shut out the world again.*

_________________
Emily Jade Hodgkins- Hufflepuff
Toni Smythe- Gryffindor
Elysia Dimitrious- To be announced

*The blonde haired seventh year was sat in the armchair beside the fire, the hour was late, she being the only person in her house left awake, with a slight frown, she reached into her bag, digging to the very bottom to remove her journal, setting it on her knee, she began to write...*

Halleners back, this is a disaster, she can't have him, I won't let her. He is everything to me and if she realises she'll try to take him, she'd probably try anyway, why can't she leave me alone? All I want is her to leave and never come back, the months she was away were great, everyone was happy, nobody missed her one bit. I'm banning Salem from sleeping in his common room, I know it's not rational, I trust him with my life, but I won't give her a chance to get her claws into him, I know what she's like.

I have a baby brother! Mum gave birth yesterday, we were all really worried because he was almost a month early, but he's perfect! He just has a bit of catching up to do in the growth department. They wanted to call him James, I quickly stamped that one out right there, they can't steal my baby name, it's not happening, no matter how cute the baby is. I think they're going with Joshua Michael, Josh for short obviously. He weighed in at five pounds, one ounce and everybody says that he has mine and Julian's eyes, they're bright blue! Mum is very tired, it was a hard delivery but she's well, Daddy is looking after the baby while Mum rests I'll go and see them in the morning, I won't stay very long though, the longer I'm around the baby, the broodier I get which is very strange, until a couple of months ago, I wasn't completely sure I wanted children.

I met Salem's parents a few days ago, they were... to be honest they scared the hell out of me, his father looked as if he could snap me in half with one hand, his mother and sister were insanely polite, they are going to take some getting used too I think. Salem is so totally worth it though.

Hmm, not much else to report, life is going very slowly at the moment, Halloween is coming though! Hopefully Salem will be able to make it to the ball, can you believe he's never been to a school dance? That is going to change as soon as possible.

*After the girl had packed her things away, she moved swiftly towards the dorm, hoping to get a few hours of sleep before class.*

_________________
Emily Jade Hodgkins- Hufflepuff
Toni Smythe- Gryffindor
Elysia Dimitrious- To be announced

_________________
Emily Jade Hodgkins- Hufflepuff
Toni Smythe- Gryffindor
Elysia Dimitrious- To be announced

_________________
Emily Jade Hodgkins- Hufflepuff
Toni Smythe- Gryffindor
Elysia Dimitrious- To be announced

_________________
Emily Jade Hodgkins- Hufflepuff
Toni Smythe- Gryffindor
Elysia Dimitrious- To be announced