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A Fresh Start
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Author:  Yendys [ Thu Jun 21, 2012 3:26 pm ]
Post subject:  A Fresh Start

"You're not going, and that's final!"
Sam slammed the cupboard door, glaring at his mother. "But Mum, you heard him, I have to! I have to go! I'm a wizard and they've gotta teach me how to use my magic or else I'll blow the whole world up." The young boy was short, likely ten or eleven years old as the baby fat had yet to leave his face, with a Scottish accent that only got stronger when he argued, as he was doing now.

His mother sighed, brushing her hair - the same light blonde as Sam's - back away from her face. "I've never heard of this Hogwarts school, how do we know it's any good? You're going to Saint Machan's next term, your father and I have already taken out loans to pay for it. You can't just take loans back to the bank, you know, once you've gotten them. It's not a shop."

"But you heard him! He said that it was man-...mandy-...mander-..." he stumbled over the word.
"Mandatory," his mother corrected. "And it's not. He said there were other options, legally. Home education, tutoring...we can make it work. You don't have to go off to that place."
"But he said he highly recommended that I go! And the only reason you don't know about it is because you're not magic. He said you and dad were muggles!" He didn't have any trouble with that word, despite the fact that he'd only learned it that afternoon.
"There's nothing wrong with Saint Machan's. It comes highly recommended." She turned around dismissively, stirring the broth on the stove.

Sam glowered. "All the kids there have gone to school together since they started, though. I'll be the different one, the weird one. I won't fit right in, and you know it, so don't try to say it!" At that last remark, he shot an angry glare at his mother's back, and she flinched a bit in reaction, almost as if she'd felt it.
Without turning around, she replied in an odd, quiet tone of voice. "You'll ride the train every morning, but you'll come back in the evening. Back home, where I can keep you safe. I'm your mother, and you're my child. My only child. How can I take care of you if you're so far away from me?"

Sam carried on, as if oblivious to the fact that his mother had obviously been hurt by his words. "You couldn't protect me, anyway. At Hogwarts, I could actually have a chance. None of the kids there know each other, they come from all over the country. From all over the world, even. They won't look at me and ask each other what I'd done at my last school that was so bad I'd had to transfer, because they're all new. I could have a fresh start." He stopped there, as if he'd run out of words, and waited for his mother's response.

After a few minutes of silence that felt as if they'd lasted forever, she finally nodded, still speaking quietly. "I'll...think about it. Please go wash up."
Sam nodded slightly, stepping backwards out of the kitchen with his eyes locked on his mother's back, as if afraid that she'd change her mind if he looked away before the last possible instant. As his footsteps faded away, his mother continued to stir the pot, closing her eyes and looking like she might cry.

Author:  stingray888 [ Thu Jun 21, 2012 5:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Fresh Start

If you came up with that yourself.....you should write your own stories and publish them! :)

Author:  Yendys [ Thu Jun 21, 2012 10:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Fresh Start

((Wish I was published, but, until then, ooc stories about my characters on wohp forums!))

Author:  Yendys [ Sun Aug 26, 2012 5:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Fresh Start

Sam was sitting at breakfast when the owls arrived for him. Two of the birds, one at either end of the package, swooped low over the Ravenclaw table, depositing the parcel neatly in front of the small first year. He opened it, slipping his fingers under the paper and carefully pulling it apart, tearing the wrappings as little as possible. Soon, his fingers met fabric, and he pulled out a muggle school uniform-style jacket and trousers, in navy blue with bronze buttons. Perfect house colors. He almost didn't even notice the folded note that fell to the ground, but he leaned down and snatched it up, unfolding the stationary to read it.

"Dear Sam,

Your father and I are so pleased to hear that you've settled in well at school. We were so worried. We're still worried, so please by careful, but you seem to be avoiding a repeat of last time so far."

He winced slightly as he read it, readjusting his grip on the letter so that neither student sharing the bench with him could peek at the writing.

"Honestly, I don't know much about anything you've been writing home about, all that magic and potions and magician stuff. But you're learning, and you're growing, and we're both proud of you. Just remember, you'll always be our Sammy."

His eyes locked onto that last word - the hated nickname - and in one swift motion he crumpled the note in his left hand, tossing it to the floor under the table. Drawing his wand, he pointed it at the note, and whispered a newly-learned incantation as a jet of fire shot out of the tip, reducing the note to ashes within a few moments. He clenched his jaw as he slipped the wand back away, grabbing his new outfit and abandoning breakfast.

How could she use that name? I told her never to call me that again! Why does she keep doing it?

As he hurried up the stairs to his dormitory, hands shaking with anger, his mind turned towards the last time his mother had called him that.

-----


Steam puffed from the smokestack of the Hogwarts Express as parents and children hurried along the platform, exchanging hurried goodbyes and loading luggage onto the train. Sam trailed behind his parents, still silently sulking about the argument of the morning; whether or not he could take his pet fish to school with him. He'd lost.

"This car looks as good as any," his mother said, looking back to Sam. "So you should get settled. The train is leaving in five minutes."
He nodded silently and stepped forward, grasping his trunk with both hands and tugging it off the trolley. It hit the ground with a sharp crack, and his father looked at him with concern.
"You're sure you've got that? I can hel-"
Sam cut him off. "I've -got- it. Goodbye."

His mother gave him a thin-lipped frown at that. "What if your train crashes? Is that really the last thing you're ever going to say to us?"
Sam rolled his eyes. "It won't crash. It's -magic.-"
She sighed. "We love you, dear."
"Loveyoutoo," Sam muttered, not meeting their eyes as he stepped backwards into the car, lugging his trunk up the steps with periodic thunks.

Eventually he got it stowed and shook out his arms, plonking down in a window seat. He glanced out the window, then immediately glanced away at the sight of his parents waving outside. A few seconds later, though, he gave in and looked back to them, giving a tiny wave with barely a hint of a forgiving smile. His mother motioned for him to open the window and, after a few moments of fumbling with the unfamiliar latch, he did so.

"Be careful!" she called out to him. "I know we've talked about this...all of this. It's just...you know we love you! And no matter what happens at school, before, or after, you'll always be our Sammy!"
The color drained from his face as she uttered the forbidden nickname, the cause of many an argument. He immediately slammed the window once, and then again as it bounced back, managing to engage the lock the second time. As he turned away from the window, the color rushed back to his face, coloring his cheeks an angry crimson.

-----


If she really loves me, why doesn't she understand?

Author:  Yendys [ Fri Nov 02, 2012 6:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Fresh Start

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I wish I'd worn something that I could eat in.

Author:  Yendys [ Wed Nov 21, 2012 8:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Fresh Start

((Sam demands this soundtrack. I do not argue with him. DROGOOOOO(or anyone else, but invoking drogo usually works) if you know how to make this player any smaller, please use your magic!))


Sam sat on the edge of his bed, the tips of his toes resting on the floor as he regarded his hands with a troubled frown.

Nothing's been right since I've been back.

Biting his lip, he clenched his left hand into a fist and traced the outline of his knuckles with a finger. The hands were soft again, having lost the scrapes and bruises of his previous year's work over the holiday that had just ended.

It's like everything that I'd spent all year working out abandoned me. What am I supposed to do with myself here now?

He couldn't stay in here forever. He had told himself, all through the holiday, that things would be better once he got back to Hogwarts. That was the only way he'd stayed sane, hiding away from the world. But now he was back, and things weren't all better. He felt more out of place than ever.

It's too late. I can't go back. I've started, and I have to finish.

He unclenched his fist and sighed quietly, blinking to ward off the tears of frustration that threatened to roll down his cheeks.

I can do this. I did it before, and I can do it again. I didn't lose anything. I just have to be Sam. Sam McKinnon, Ravenclaw wizard.

He nodded to himself, pushing himself forward off the bed and stepping over to the wardrobe, pausing for only a moment to take his wand from the bedside table. He knelt down on the floor and, pausing for a moment to take a deep breath, he pointed the tip of the wand towards the drawer.

"Alohomora."

He didn't dare to breathe for a moment, then exhaled in relief as the lock clicked open.

I can do this. I did last year, and I can do it again. I just have to take it a moment at a time. Slowly.

Author:  Yendys [ Tue Dec 25, 2012 10:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Fresh Start

It was Christmas at Hogwarts. Evergreen trees and tinsel decorated the near-empty halls, most students being away for the holiday. The few that remained lingered, solo or in small groups, with no classes to attend. The quiet peace was suddenly shattered by Sam, dressed in full winter robes and cloak, bounding down the stairs two at a time with something held tightly to his chest. Ignoring the noises of protest as he brushed past a couple enjoying a sprig of mistletoe that had been secreted away from the professors' eyes, he dashed through the entrance hall and out into the Scottish winter.

Slowing to a more sustainable jog, he made his way across the nearly-deserted grounds to the quidditch pitch. He entered the locker room and dropped the object on the table, stepping over to the broom cupboard. He swung the door open and took each broom out of the cupboard in turn, looking it over carefully before leaning it against the wall and choosing another. Finally, he found what he was looking for; the broom he chose was the nicest one in the cupboard, which wasn't saying much considering the state of Hogwarts school brooms. Replacing all the other brooms in the cupboard, he swung his choice over his shoulder and, picking up the discarded case under the opposite arm, headed back out into the chilly afternoon.

He found a sunny patch of grass on the opposite side of the pitch and sat down, laying the small leather case, and broomstick on the ground in front of him. He unclasped the latch that held the broomstick servicing kit closed and opened it, taking a quick inventory of the contents he had to work with.

They'd probably notice if I polished the handle, but I might be able to get these twigs sorted. Or at least, more sorted.

He frowned at the state of the poor, abused broomstick, then carefully took out the Handbook of Do-it-yourself Broomcare from the kit and opened it, flipping to the chapter concerning the broomstick tail. His breath occasionally puffed out in front of him in a white cloud as his stiff fingers turned the pages, though he didn't seem to otherwise notice the cold.

I really wish I had one of those magical music players. Life here would be better if it had a soundtrack.

Eventually satisfied that he knew what he was doing, he picked up the broomstick and closely examined the tail end. This was going to need a lot of work.

* * *


A short while later, he set the broom down, flexing his frozen fingers. That was the most he could do to correct the steering, without impacting the ability of the broom to stay in the air. And he wasn't looking to be charged with damaging school property. Replacing everything in his kit, he closed it and left it by one of the tall pillers, so that he could find it later. Standing up, he stretched his frozen limbs, bringing some limited flexibility back.

Time to see how it handles.

He swung his leg over the handle and, taking a deep breath, kicked off. His face instantly went numb, even the bits of it that he'd thought were already devoid of sensation. The wind whipped at his hood, yanking it back to reveal his head of blonde hair, badly needing a haircut. He grinned, feeling the slight improvement on the handling of the broom.

Far from good, but definitely an improvement.

He flew for a few more minutes before landing, breathless from the cold as much as from the exhilaration of flight. He needed to get inside and warm up, maybe have some pudding in the great hall. Picking up his kit, he returned the broomstick to the cupboard, making sure to tuck it away hidden in the back corner. That one was his.

Author:  Yendys [ Sat Jan 05, 2013 8:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Fresh Start

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Handhugs.

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Okay.

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Author:  Yendys [ Thu Feb 28, 2013 3:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Fresh Start

It was morning in the great hall, and students filtered in and out as they headed off to their various morning activities. Sam sat at the Ravenclaw table, his hair still damp from the bath. He had a plate of fruit in front of him, but it had hardly been touched, his attention fixed on the parchment form in front of him bearing the Hogwarts school crest.

Why did I put this off? Now it's due five minutes ago and I still haven't finished.

It was elective selection day for the second years, the time when they'd have to turn in their selections for the following year to their head of house, and he hadn't handed it in yet. He fumbled with his ink and quill, writing in his student information at the top and then biting the inside of his cheek as he forced himself to make some actual decisions.

Ancient Runes...yes! Yes to that. Arithmancy...what even is that? Like magical maths?

He frowned after marking the check box for Ancient Runes, the tip of his quill hovering over the box for Arithmancy.

I'm supposed to be good at maths, so I should take Arithmancy. On the other hand, if I'm not very good at maths, then it would be better to not take it at all. That way nobody would know. But they might realize that I'm not taking it because I'm not any good at it, so even the safety plan could backfire.

He glanced around the hall, but the students eating breakfast were no help.

I wonder if that awful girl is in Arithmancy? No point in trying to find out now though, I'm out of time. I guess I could always drop it if it was unbearable.

He marked the box, then moved on quickly to the next option.

Care of Magical Creatures, yes! That reminds me, I have to find Hagrid later. Let him know I'm taking his class and all that. Maybe he'll be able to talk Pince into letting me take out that monster book that she said was reference only.

Checking the box for Care of Magical Creatures, he frowned again at the next option on the list.

Divination? I don't know! The lady seems like a complete goof, so I don't think I'll learn anything. But the class seems easy, and she is kind of unintentionally hilarious. Come to think of it, though, I'm not really sure I want people trying to divine stuff about me. Seems almost as awful as that mind-reading magic rubbish. Maybe I'll just have Peran show me how to do that disappeary trick in case I ever want to sit in.

Passing over that box, he came to the last class in the list.

Muggle Studies? Nah, I don't need it. I could probably teach the class myself.

Satisfied that he'd finally made actual choices - more than the minimum required two electives, even! - he signed his name at the bottom and jumped up, breaking into a fast jog as he hurried to get the form to Flitwick in the staff room before the tiny professor left for first period.

Author:  Yendys [ Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A Fresh Start

((My apologies in advance for any butchering I've done as to how chat works on x-box live, as I don't own the console myself I've taken some creative liberties.))

Sam finished toweling off his hair, ditching the towel in the hallway before entering his room, making sure to push in the privacy lock button. Leave it to Hogwarts to make the stupid no magic use over holiday rules, therefore removing Colloportus as an option in the single instance where it would actually be effective - against his parents. For good measure, he leaned into his dresser, shoving it a few inches to the left so as to block the door from being opened quickly. At least he'd have a bit of warning, and his mum would back off for a few moments to avoid damaging the furniture.

He hit the switches on his old tv and x-box 360, fishing around in the cupboard for the good controller - not the one he'd spilled soda on last year, that one never really worked properly anymore. He needed the good controller to play the new shooter that had come out a few weeks back, and that his father had surprised him with when he arrived home two days ago. He presumed that his mum didn't know about it, since she never really approved of video games, and he intended to keep it that way. Once he located the controller, he grabbed his headset as well, plugging both in to the console. The disk was already inside, and he'd installed all the necessary files last night, so all that remained was to - oh, bugger.

He rolled his eyes, seeing who was trying to initiate a chat session. Really? The guy could see that this was the first time Sam had been logged in since the release, except for like five minutes last night, so how could he expect Sam to have something for him already? Sam toyed with the idea of pretending that he'd gone to the kitchen to cook something incredibly complex while the x-box booted up and logged him in, but decided against that quickly - he'd have to deal with the guy sometime, why not get it over with now? He sat down on the end of his bed and hit the button to connect the chat.

"What uuuup?" came the unmistakable American accent of Mike, who Sam had been playing with on holiday the past two years. They'd met during a tournament contest to win something stupid, and neither had won of course, but for some bizarre reason they'd kept in touch.
Sam rolled his eyes, but his response, while short, was devoid of sarcasm. "Hi. Just about to play the game."
"Yeah, bro, I've been playing it since release night. It's pretty cool, not as good as last year's though. The sneak detection is pretty stupid, so don't bother trying to make a sniper."
He frowned. That was his favorite character type! "I might try anyway. Challenging is good."
"Yeah, but it's really just frustrating. You make one perfect headshot, totally clean-" Sam doubted this, Mike couldn't make a clean headshot to save his life, as he'd found out many times over when playing co-op with him. "-and then suddenly the whole enemy squad knows exactly where you are! Sid's been using one of those MonsterAdvantage hacks to quickly reset his stealth status, and he says it's been working alright, but it's still annoying."

Okay, Sid was a pretty decent sniper, so if he was having trouble too then the issues probably weren't just some invention of Mike's. "He'll get banned for that."
"Yeah, I know, that's why I was hoping you could think up something better, at least until it's patched out."
"Well don't tell the whole bloody internet this time and they won't patch the exploit so fast." Sam rolled his eyes again - Mike was notorious for being unable to keep his mouth shut. "I'll see what I can do, I still haven't played any missions though, I just got back for the holidays."
A snort of laughter came over the headset. "Holidays. God, you sound so...posh." More laughter. "You're off at one of those fancy English boarding schools most of the year, right?"
"-Scottish.- But yes."
"Whatever, same difference." No, it wasn't. "Anything funny happen last year? Steal someone's underwear and put it up a flagpole, or something?"
"There isn't a flagpole, and anyway that's gross. Why would I do that?"
"I dunno, it sounds funny to me. Come on, there has to be something you did that's worth telling."

Sam toyed with several thoughts, dismissing most of them as blatant violations of the secrecy act, before landing on one that, while technically a violation, wouldn't get him in any trouble for the simple fact that there was no way Mike would believe him. "I met this cool girl who grew up in a village of vampire hunters, and she's going to teach me how to fight them too."
"I like it, crusade against the goths. Sign me up! So you and her, you gonna..." Kissy noises came through the headset, prompting Sam to flush pink.
"Gross! No! Stop it." He'd had just about enough of this conversation, so he half-covered the mic with his hand, pitching his voice louder than before. "What's that, Mum? Do I have to? Alright, hold on then." Taking his hand off the mic, he spoke normally again. "Sorry, Mum's calling. Some stupid thing, I'll talk to you later."
"Mom aggro, not good man. Talk to you later, bro."
"Bye." Sam set his status to away and muted his mic. Mike aggro successfully dropped. Of course, he couldn't play x-box now, but he'd be able to get to it again once Mike went to bed. There were other things to do, anyway.

He stepped across the room to his desk, powering on his ancient PC. It would take ages to boot up, since it was his dad's old one from before he got his new laptop. It didn't even have a widescreen monitor! While he waited for it to finish doing its thing, his attention wandered to where his school chest was sitting against the wall. He hadn't started his holiday homework yet, and on top of that he still had to figure out how to read the Monster Book of Monsters. He'd been eager to open it when he'd received it in the post, just as Hagrid had promised, but he soon figured out why Pince wouldn't let him take out the library copy. That book was vicious!

There had to be a trick to reading it. Nobody would write a book that couldn't be read, it would defeat the entire purpose. Therefore, it had to be like a puzzle, or a test of skill. You have to be this good already at handling books that act like scary monsters in order to gain access to the information within, sort of thing. He was already forming a mental list of things to try, and he felt good about his chances of working it out. He was sure he'd find some time to devote to solving the puzzle around all the other homework he'd been assigned during the holidays.

The computer dinged, and Sam looked back to it, checking that everything was running and that his messenger client was off. Check, check, and check - good, no more annoying people to deal with. He opened his music player and made a new playlist, collapsing it to the mini player as he opened his web browser.


Image
((Click the picture to see it bigger!))


Okay, this was actually much better than playing x-box. He still wasn't sure what exactly was going on in this story, but it was hilarious. There was a kid bouncing around on a pogo-caterpillar dual-wielding a hammer and a can of shaving cream, how much more awesome could it get? Of course, something always had to ruin his good mood, and that something came in the form of a knock at his bedroom door. "Sam, dear?"

He sighed quietly, bookmarking his position in the story, and glanced over to the door. "What?"
The knob twisted noisily as his mother attempted to enter. Typical. "I said what, not come in!"
"I want to talk to you properly, not through a door! Did you push your dresser in front of the door again?"
"No." She'd have to go down the hall for a pin anyway, he'd move it while she was gone.
"You know that's not safe in case there's a fire. I don't want you doing that."
"Well then maybe you shouldn't always barge in, and besides if there's a fire I'm not going down the hall, I'm going out my window. So it's not."
She gave up on trying to get through the door and was silent for a few moments before continuing. "We're going out for lunch with the Stevens."
"Have fun." Sam turned back to his computer, but his mother wasn't done yet.
"You're coming with us."
"Mum! No! The last time I had to be with those people you told me to go play with Katie and all she wanted to do was paint her toenails. She's awful, I hate her."
"That's not a nice thing to say, she's a sweet girl. And this isn't up for debate. Dress smart, we won't be long. I won't have you hide in your room all holiday like you did last time."
"What if I like hiding in my room all holiday? Have you ever thought about that?"
His mother's reply left no room for debate. "We're leaving in ten minutes, I expect you to be downstairs by then or there will be consequences."

Author:  Yendys [ Mon Jul 08, 2013 8:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Fresh Start




(Another youtube video production brought to you by Professor Chaos!)
If that doesn't work, link

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight

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And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

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And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Image

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

Image


Author:  Yendys [ Thu Nov 21, 2013 10:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Fresh Start

The wind whipped against his scarlet cheeks, the bitter cold locked in battle with the fury inside of him, betrayed only by his clenched teeth and tight fists. He was alone in the courtyard. Good. It was better that way.

Does he seriously think that he's the only one that has problems? What right does that give him to do what he did? No matter what the problem is, it's not her fault. It could never be.

He swallowed hard as he stood, holding his fist against his mouth to fight the nausea that rose within him as he thought about what had just happened. What had been happening, for months now. This wasn't new. It was no minor trespass. It was deliberate, calculated, and wrong.

How could he put an animal over her? I don't want to kill an owl, that would be awful, but it's not an excuse. There are no excuses.

Suddenly frowning, he whipped his hand away from his mouth, barely aware of the motion until he felt the impact. The cold numbness that had settled through his arm gave way to a sudden shock, pain radiating from his knuckles through his arm to his elbow. He gritted his teeth, grinding his knuckles against the frozen stone for a moment before raising the wounded hand to his mouth, breathing out his warm breath onto it as he pressed it to his lips. The bitter taste of his own blood entered his mouth, but he didn't spit it out, continuing to breathe warmth onto his frozen hands.

She wouldn't like this. But it was wrong. How could I have just stood by as he made excuses? At least it was something. Something that wasn't nothing. Because nothing is death.

Author:  Yendys [ Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Fresh Start

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Author:  Yendys [ Sat Jan 25, 2014 11:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Fresh Start

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Author:  Yendys [ Thu Jan 30, 2014 10:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Fresh Start

Those who approach the sacrament of Penance obtain pardon from God's mercy for the offense committed against him, and are, at the same time, reconciled with the Church which they have wounded by their sins and which by charity, by example, and by prayer labors for their conversion.

It is called the sacrament of conversion because it makes sacramentally present Jesus' call to conversion, the first step in returning to the Father from whom one has strayed by sin.

It is called the sacrament of Penance, since it consecrates the Christian sinner's personal and ecclesial steps of conversion, penance, and satisfaction.

It is called the sacrament of confession, since the disclosure or confession of sins to a priest is an essential element of this sacrament. In a profound sense it is also a "confession" - acknowledgment and praise - of the holiness of God and of his mercy toward sinful man.

It is called the sacrament of forgiveness, since by the priest's sacramental absolution God grants the penitent "pardon and peace."

It is called the sacrament of Reconciliation, because it imparts to the sinner the love of God who reconciles: "Be reconciled to God." He who lives by God's merciful love is ready to respond to the Lord's call: "Go; first be reconciled to your brother."


It's okay. I forgive you.

It's between you and God, now.

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