Selena sighs and slides down the wall in the Entrance Hall before pulling out her journal and quill, which are now always on her person. Her eyes have purple bags under them and from the set of her shoulders, it's obvious she's exhausted. Still she opens her journal to a new page and starts to write...
"Everything has changed from how things were the last time I wrote in here... I still am having a hard time accepting how much changed over the last two years. He's gone, Drith's gone, and I don't know what I'm going to do now."
Here she would pause to wipe away a stray tear before returning to writing.
"I don't know why I even came back, I just felt that it was time and I had spent enough time away from Hogwarts and the people I used to consider my friends and almost my family in some ways. I ran into Angelique first, I was amazed at the changes in her and grateful that they had occurred. The girl I once knew, who once led me up to the dark dais was gone, or at least hidden. She seems happy again, and content. Her new girlfriend, Liss, seemed to be completely in love with Angel, and Angel with her. Another surprise really as they used to hat each other.
"They told me of the London Academy of Magic and what had happened with them, I seemed to have arrived just as they were settling back into whatever is normal at Hogwarts. I also found out about Ray's death from Liss. I think she knew about Drith's as well but never said anything, I'm not quite sure what to do about that. It doesn't really matter and I'd been making a fool of myself anyways, so I can't really blame her for not saying anything. I learned that Mara had returned home, and Evie was rarely seen anymore. Can't say I'm surprised, that night at the Temple and the days following it were rough on all of us but worse for as they stayed behind much longer than I did.
"Eventually Liss brought me to the Forest so I could go speak to Professor Snape, I needed to let him know I was back and ask him about my old things. He didn't know of course which I expected but asked on the off-chance he had my journal as I'd forgotten it when I left. After I unpacked I made my way to the library, the last place I remembered seeing this damn book. I met some Ravenclaw girl there, Perian I think she said he name was, but she had it and had of course read it as nosy Ravenclaws tend to do. At least she kept it out of other people's hands."
Selena stops writing for a moment, twisting her writing hand so the elbow and wrist crack then rolls her neck to work the stiffness out. Looking around the Hall she notes that only a few students are around before returning to writing.
"The next night I decided I would visit The Hog's Head and get a drink, I needed one by that point as I still wasn't used to being back at the castle. When I got there I found a strange man sitting at the bar, I ignored him at first as he was very ragged. While I was waiting for my drink however I recognized the cloak he was wearing, it was the same cloak Drith and Lucian wore, the black background with the silver gauntlet in the shape of a fist. I asked him if he was Lucian, he denied it at first and tried to ignore me. I pointed out that only two men I knew of bore that particular cloak, so unless he stole it, he had to be Lucian. Again he denied it, but I had recognized his eyes by this point and figured the rest of his appearance was a disguise of some sort.
"I took my drink to a table and watched him for a while, but I wasn't alone. Three men sitting in the corner were watching him as well. They stood and approached him before challenging him to a duel. He finished his drink and directed the men outside. I quickly finished my own drink and went outside as well, keeping to the shadows and out of sight for the most part. At first it looked as though Lucian would easily win as the first man attacked him and he stunned him quickly. However the next two attacked at the same moment and Lucian is overwhelmed, something I never thought I would see. I stunned the two remaining men and bound his head, which had been struck by a rock, before I cast a sober-up spell at him.
"I mentioned Drith, almost in passing and Lucian revealed, in typical Lucian fashion (meaning bluntly and with absolutely no warning) that he was dead. He then proceeded to turn and start walking away. I.. I lost control. I think I might have screamed because my throat was sore later, but all I really remember is feeling rage and pain and my magic flaring around me. I vaguely remember hearing someone trying to get my attention, I think it might have been Aberforth, I'll have to go apologize to him next to I visit Amber. Anyway, the next thing I remember with any clarity is Lucian screaming at me, "I know how to reach him." It was like he'd hit a switch that instantly killed my magic, I looked up and saw him standing right in front of me through glitters of pearl, silver and dark gray that I assume was my magic. He told me to take his hand and, not really knowing what else to do, I did and he apparated us to a green hilltop overlooking a beautiful, peaceful pasture. It looked like Stonehenge, but who knows where we really were, I wasn't coherent enough to pay much attention. Before I could ask where we were, Lucian walked off and there was suddenly a willow tree next to me that I swear wasn't there only seconds before.
// Here I'm copy/paste-ing what was RPed because it's late and I'm tired
Just assume it's all written from Sel's POV for now until I edit it.She walks to the willow, gently parting the trails of leaves to slip inside the shelter it provides. Walking up to the trunk she touches the wood lightly with her finger-tips, tears slipping steadily down her cheeks.
From above, a very familiar, faint voice sounds, "Geez, you don't have to cry so much. I'm here aren't I?"
Selena's head whips up, her eyes wide in shock and a faint, painful hope, "Drith?"
A black trench coat is draped over a ghostly skinny body who is looking down at her with a goofy smile. "Who else would be sitting way up here?"
The sound she makes is a strange, half laugh half sob, she smiles tentatively at him.
"I know what you're thinking, or were ... Or... Bah. Temporal confusion. Anyways! Don't blame yourself."
She blinks and looks down, "How can I not? I.. I only left because I wanted you safe... I failed."
"After you left I let myself become something I ... Never wanted to. The values of the Crimson Guardians fell through."
She flinches at the name visibly. She sighs and whispers, but he can still hear her, "I'm so sorry, Drith. I should never have abandoned you... If I'd had just kept in touch, with anyone, maybe... Two years... How long have I been deluding myself?"
"No. You wouldn't of. You couldn't have believed what happened to me."
She looks up at him again, he can see the pain in her eyes.
"Death eaters, Aurors. ... Geez, a lot happened. Me? A Death Eater? Can you believe it?"
"Aurors... Wait, that's what Liss said happened to Ray! She knew and she didn't say a word... Gods I must have sounded so stupid..." Anger flashes in her eyes briefly before fading into despair again. She sighs, "None of this would have happened if I hadn't tried to be a bloody Gryffindor and be all bloody noble."
"Well, you know Ray and I. We had to go down in a bang."
She snorts in mild amusement then sobers, "Can you ever forgive me?"
"No." He stares at her with a blank expression. Attempting to hold a straight face.
Her heart drops, he'll see the flash of hurt in her eyes before resignation sets in, her face becomes a mask in seconds and she nods before looking down again.
He begins to crack up in laughter before 'jumping'- which appears more like floating, down to her. "You thought I was serious? Of course I do! I'm sorry."
She glares back at him, "You're lucky I can't smack you." After a second her face changes to wistful and her hand comes up to hover mere millimeters from his face, "I just wish..." she sighs.
"Wish you could touch me?" He moves is hand to her own cheek, passing through her face which gives her a small chill. " I know how you feel. But it's ... Not bad I suppose."
A few stray tears slide down her cheeks, "Is this a fluke? Or did you really become a ghost?"
"No. This is simply a mirror image of me. I'm -actually- hiding behind the tree!"
"Drith, I'm serious. Are you a ghost or just something Lucian decided to do for me for some reason?"
"...Well." He coughs. "I'm not 'technically' here. Well, only for now."
She sighs and nods, "I'd thought as much..."
"I'm being bound here by a spell. My essence is here for only a short while. I'm waiting for someone."
She winces, she doesn't want to hear this.
"Do you know Rhea Maltrix?"
She says quietly, "I remember her." She can't seem to meet his eyes now.
"I made a promise to her a long time ago."
Selena closes her eyes and nods.
"If you see her, do you mind ... Taking her here?"
She laughs softly, the sound choked, "I can't. Can't apparate. I would've never known you were here if Lucian hadn't dropped the bomb on me the way he does and I'd..." she blushes, "I lost it, nearly tore down the Hog's Head. Aberforth isn't happy with me I'd imagine. I probably would have found out from Amber and gone to your original grave."
"Bah. That empty hole. People seem to always be going to it."
"In typical Lucian fashion, he didn't tell anyone you aren't there anymore."
"Ah! I told him to. Can't have anyone coming here. It'd use up my time too quickly- in ... Fact, I have to go."
She looks up quickly, "Wait! I.."
"Look! Just ... Do me a favor! Don't blame yourself for anything! And cheer that angsty guy up! He's making the same mistakes I did!" A knothole in the tree seems to almost swallow Drith until there isn't any light left.
Tears start again and she whispers to the wind, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me, like you were once there for me. I love you, Drith... Always have.. always will." She sighs, sniffling a little and wipes her face clean almost angrily, "I.. probably won't be able to come back... Goodbye Drith. I hope you find peace with her." Quickly before she loses what little control she has left she leaves the shelter of the willow, swiping at the tears that just won't stop. Once clear of the willow she slips to the ground, not bothering to try and stop the tears now. She stares blankly ahead, eyes wide and unseeing and tears pour steadily.
The willow begins to fade from view and then disappears entirely. Lucian is still no where to be found.
Selena doesn't move, not even blinking. She will continue to sit there, staring, until the tears run out and even then she won't move.
Several hours pass before Lucian comes striding up the hill, coming to a stop next to her.
She doesn't seem to notice he's there.
"...You going to walk?"
Slowly, she blinks, then turns to look at him. She takes a minute to process what he said then shrugs, her eyes look almost dead, "Whatever."
"...I don't need your attitude." Simply.
Shrugs again and stands stiffly with only a little difficulty. Glancing at where the willow was she says quietly, "Thanks for bringing me here."
Raising an eyebrow for a moment he extends his hand without saying anything. "Right."
She takes it, shutting her eyes and turning away from the place the willow stood.
A loud cracking noise and suddenly they're back in Hogsmeade. "-Try- not to destroy the village this time." He speaks as if he just doesn't want to have to stop her again out of laziness.
The jerk and compression of apparition seems to have snapped her from her apathy and she looks at Lucian, horror written clear on her face, "He.. he's gone. And he doesn't love me anymore... I expected it I guess on some level but.. to see him and hear him talk about waiting for someone else so casually..." she bites her lip to stop the tears again.
Caught off guard, he looks down at her. As if about to say something cruel, something ... Him, he stops himself. Twitching at this. He only nods.
She looks down, "I deserve it, I left him alone and with nothing but a lie of why I had to go. I didn't even tell him the real reason..."
"...You've got somewhere to go, don't you?"
She looks up and shakes her head, "I'm not going back to the castle right now... I can't."
"...Right then." He looks around for a moment before looking back to her.
Another quick apparation and they're inside a small house. "You can stay here. The doors over there, the bedroom over there, the bathroom over there." He motions to the corners of the house. For the most part, it's quaint. Very few things are personal throughout the entire building.
She blinks in surprise, not realizing she'd never let go of his hand.
Pulling his hand away, he apparates again.
Feeling very alone, Selena walks over to the bedroom door her indicated and, only bothering to remove her shoes, falls onto it and falls into an exhausted but unrestful sleep.
// End the Copy/paste section!
Here Selena stops writing again and sighs heavily before standing and stretching, then tucking away her journal and quill she walks into the Great Hall for some food.