(( Following is a desription of Phenelin Caroenya's, aka Caro's, notebook and its contents. ))

In a small black leather-bound notebook with worn pages are written many equations; a lot of them are from the muggle society, including physics equations describing oscillations, some basic math work and many operations involving matrices. There are also pages full of tables, hand-drawn graphs, and muggle math theorems and properties. Some things are scratched out, or continued on the next page or even several pages after.

On some pages however, notes from Arithmancy classes can be found, including notes on the Weather Prediction Chart. Or on some, there are strange symbols and runes, a lot of which are found in Numerology and Grammatica, Rhul's Rune Dictionary and other Arithmancy and Ancient Runes book and articles.

On other pages, musical notes are seen. Pages of chords or scales in what appears to be a random pattern are written.

Rarely, there are some sentences or even just a word written midst the numbers.

Although it is unorganized, messy, and full of ink blots, some things stand out.

Every few pages, the date is written followed by 'Wrote home.' There appears to be no skipped date so far.

Also written on one of the pages on the top of the page:
Definition of 'friend': Be able to hold conversation with the person. Tolerable. Similar interests. Helpful in need. Understand person; understand me.

Qualification: two or more from list. May review definition.

_________________
Currently playing Caro.
"One who knows nothing of freedom has no reason to wish for it."

Amongst the masses of numbers, there is a small entry at the top of the page:
I think I finally feel secure to sleep in my dorm room. Father's advice on securing my room may no longer be needed.

At the bottom of the page:
I received a set of robes today. -- Wrote back home.

Both entries are dated as the same day.

_________________
Currently playing Caro.
"One who knows nothing of freedom has no reason to wish for it."

Recent pages are less filled with numbers and more words...

Passed Apparition Test, wrote home. Easier than thought.
Forgetful lately, assumed due to stress; wrote home for advice. Father suggested a 'Calming Draft'. I detest potions. I guess I'll brew some as time allows.

Disturbing event. Someon- *Ink blots cover up the rest of the sentence*

The next few pages are blank.

_________________
Currently playing Caro.
"One who knows nothing of freedom has no reason to wish for it."

(( One 'entry' ))
A page dated at the top.
Nik. Piano. 'Fur Elise', muggle composer 'Ludwig von Beethoven': Repetitive, major note patterns cyclic.

Some sequence numbers are written down; above some numbers, arrows are drawn to point to another point in the sequence of numbers. It is messy with some numbers scratched out, or ink blots covering parts of it, making it hard to read. Some music notes are also drawn, showing part of the major theme of Fur Elise.

Further down the page:
Interrupted. Unfinished. Wrote home


(( Another 'entry'. ))
Written just under the last one above, and dated several days later.
Seen in blue, identity unknown. Kissed. Pulled away by Slytherin.
Large student, identity unknown. Nearly Punched. Defended.
Nik, Domi, student. Invited, secluded 'camp'. Talked, uncomfortable despite lull.


Received package, wrote home.

A few music notes are written below, but shows no real melody.

_________________
Currently playing Caro.
"One who knows nothing of freedom has no reason to wish for it."

The very next page.
Nik. Invited to a dance without dancing. Invited to 'camp'. Talked, tried muggle drink, 'Coke', strange, taste change.

Didn't write home until early morning. Apologized, explained, usual. Awaiting response.
It is dated; the date written just under the entry, on the right.

Just below the date, still on the right hand side of the page:
Nik. Animagus.

_________________
Currently playing Caro.
"One who knows nothing of freedom has no reason to wish for it."

Some pages after the last entry are filled with simple drawings of wands, showing movement with arrows. Due to the small size of the notebook, only one or two of such illustrations are on each page. Some notes can be found on the side, writing in words what the arrows mean.

On each page, on the bottom right corner, the words 'Wrote home' can be seen with a date, as usual.

On the top of the next page, dated several days after:

Received response. Forgiven, despite disappointment. Not to forget again.

The rest of the page is blank.

_________________
Currently playing Caro.
"One who knows nothing of freedom has no reason to wish for it."

(( Text below may be confusing. Just describing basic diagram showing some forces (physics) to show the effects of a spell Caro's trying to... invent. ))

Next pages are also filled with illustrations, this time, diagrams which seemingly depict and object deflecting other objects with great force. The first object (a ball) drawn in red with an arrow pointing at it and written 'target' near the arrow. Another larger arrow is seen from the first ball pointing at the second, with the note 'F(push) = ...'.

After a few pages of illustrations it is written at the end:

Impediment Jinx, variation.

Rest of the page is blank, apart from the usual 'Wrote home' at the bottom of the page with the date.



On the next page, the next day is dated at the top.

Prolonged stay at Entrance Hall recently. Less uncomfortable in it when seeing those I know in it.
Example:
Nik. Piano in middle of Hall. Joined. Listened.
'Battle Hymn of the Republic', unknown: Repetitive, cyclic.
'Symphony Number Five', muggle composer 'Ludwig von Beethoven': Repetitive, similar to other 'Fur Elise'.
'Aria, Goldberg Variation', muggle composer 'Bach': Major patterns repeat, transitions at ends.
'Fur Elise', muggle composer 'Ludwig von Beethoven'.

Domi. Change in piano sound.

'Superstition', muggle 'Stevie Wonder'.

Again, at the bottom of the page, with the date: Wrote home. More detail.

_________________
Currently playing Caro.
"One who knows nothing of freedom has no reason to wish for it."

Top of next page, with the date.

Father. Response from home. Noted to be careful and that he loved me. I love him, but hate him.

The last three words are crossed out repeatedly, but it is still possible to read.

Some ink blots obscure some of the words on the rest of the page.

Wro- *inkblot* -ome.
Nik. Rando- *inkblot* Commons.
*inkblot* -k. Variation of piece, American-Japanese muggle. Commons.

Smiled. First since attending Hog- *more inkblots* -trange feeling.

There are less and less inkblots by the end of the page. On the next page:

Redefined, 'friend': Be able to hold conversation with person. Tolerable. Similar interests. Helpful in need. Understand person; understand me. Hug dependent on relationship.

Must clarify. Qualification: two or more from list.

_________________
Currently playing Caro.
"One who knows nothing of freedom has no reason to wish for it."

Some notes on several potions follow in the next few pages. But most notes are crossed out, making it difficult to read. Some potions included in the notes include: 'Sano Draft', 'Phasmatis Facies Draft' and 'Extraxi Caecusacatsye'.

The next page continues with notes on some spells, including incantations, process of thought, and smaller drawings of wand movement. The first few on this list include: 'Imperturbable Charm' and 'Colloportus'. The last on the list reads 'Impedimenta, variation', with short notes on the function of the spell.

Function. Set on object, small area. Activation on contact.

Each page is dated for same date.

On the next page after all the notes:
Nik. Commons. Piano lesson. 'Moonlight Sonata', muggle composer 'Ludwig von Beethoven'.

Wrote home.
Dated at the bottom.


(( Another 'entry' ))
Dated at the top, the next day after the last entry.
There are some musical notes written, it is the first bar of notes for the third movement of 'Moonlight Sonata'.

Interrupted while playing. Nik. Invited to 'camp'. Met Esperanzia.

Father. Received package.

At the bottom of the page, as usual, it is written: 'Wrote home.'

_________________
Currently playing Caro.
"One who knows nothing of freedom has no reason to wish for it."

The pages after the last entry are filled with more music notes of 'Moonlight Sonata. The next entry is dated for some days after.

Practiced piano. I feel confident in playing the piece. Wish for more examples of piano playing.

Nik. Invited to Hogsmeade. Met Sierra, Domi and Drado.


Unusual event. Nik told me I was 'beautiful'. Confused; only Father calls me that... when confusing me for Mother. Reminded of Father, still unsure of intention or reason, but strangely, I don't mind. Thanked him.

Nik. 'Asked out'. Unsure of term, asked to explain.

Definition, 'going out'/'dating': Being more than 'friends'. To like someone; to be in love with. May lead to hugging and kissing. May review definition.

Redefined, 'friend': Be able to hold conversation with person. Tolerable. Similar interests. Helpful in need. Understand person; understand me. Hug dependent on relationship, may be reserved for 'dating'. See above definition; may review definition.

Agreed to Nik's request, despite uncertainty in knowing what's next. I do feel more at ease with him. Kissed on cheek. Odd feeling not coming from Father.


Also, wrote home. Gave vague outline of events.

_________________
Currently playing Caro.
"One who knows nothing of freedom has no reason to wish for it."

The next entry is on the next page, dated for the next day. The writing is messier than usual, hinting at some agitation.

Doppelganger. Drado chased it; followed into Hufflepuff Commons. Toilet exploded when Drado tried to summon it back. Dirtied beyond reason.

Felt sick, weak. Cleaned back at the castle - cleaned, cleaned... Blasted robe.

Wrote home. Asked for new robe. Explained. Still awaiting response from previous letter.

(( Edit. Added: ))

The writing is now normal.

Took Calming Draft.

Nik. Visited room. Checked up on me.

I'm confused about my feelings.

_________________
Currently playing Caro.
"One who knows nothing of freedom has no reason to wish for it."

At the top of the very next page, in her usual writing. It is dated at the top.

Received response, package. Father advised caution involving Nik. Typical response, given his confused obsession with Mother. ...

Nik told me I was beautiful. He told me he loved me. He doesn't confuse me for someone else. Is his love more real than Father's?

I feel that I'm more relaxed around him. I would like to be around him more. Is that due to my love for him?

But Nik is always involved in the strangest of situations. Ones I would rather not cope with. Father is right in this sense, even if he might not be truly talking about me.

Still confused.

_________________
Currently playing Caro.
"One who knows nothing of freedom has no reason to wish for it."

Next page. Dated at the top. Her writing looking larger and neater than usual.

We kissed - while I went to his room to borrow a book. I simply kept staring, until he approached. Didn't pull back.

I really feel that I am attracted to him. I feel as if I'm no longer confused.


I agreed to go to the 'movie' with Nik, Domi, Sierra and Greg. It is still unfamiliar to me, all these muggle terms and objects, despite the classes in Muggle Studies.

Written on the bottom of the page: 'Wrote home. A little later than usual.' with the date.

_________________
Currently playing Caro.
"One who knows nothing of freedom has no reason to wish for it."

Written several days after the last entry. No other notes are in between except for the usual daily 'Wrote home.' note. This entry is dated at the top, written in her usual handwriting.

I told him a few days ago that I think I really liked him.

Days seem to pass by... In the last few days, I did some piano practice with him and even went out on an outing to a muggle restaurant. My first real experience at a muggle facility.

I feel different. Almost unlike myself, if not really. I'm unsure if it's good or bad, but I enjoy it so far. I admitted to Nik that I believed it was a good feeling.


Some blank space in between.
I also admitted that I loved him, yesterday. I'm uncertain what I meant by that.

As usual, at the bottom of the page, it is written: 'Wrote home.' with the date.

_________________
Currently playing Caro.
"One who knows nothing of freedom has no reason to wish for it."

Apart from the routine 'Wrote home.' entries, nothing has been written since the last.
No Arithmancy or Transfiguration notes, even notes on her own spells or just random ones are non-existent. There is, however, a page torn from the notebook that's nowhere to be found. Also, her writing is cleaner and neater than the first pages of the notebook, no inkblots to be found, nothing crossed out.

The next entry is dated some days after the last.
Definition, love: To enjoy being around; to want to be around. To miss them when not around, even if for a little while. To want to kiss, be kissed or simply hold said person.

Apparently, it is divided into different categories: love of a friend, a family and other.
I'm not quite sure if I understand the first or the second, but I understand the latter better now... Now, I know that I love him and I've told him so.

It is odd and somewhat unsettling to find that I don't feel the same as I did before. I don't feel that I know myself. I don't do some of the things I used to, or do things I didn't used to. It reassures me that Nikolai also stated he doesn't know himself fully well and most people don't.

I've gotten into a habit.

Whenever he tells me that he loves me, I can't seem to help but want to kiss him. It just feels 'right'. Half of the last word in the sentence is crossed out, as if she changed her mind about doing so.

Similarly, Nikolai apparently enjoys ki... . The writing stops here and the written portion has been crossed out, making it hard to read.


I fell asleep in his room. It's still difficult to not think of the embarrassing moment. I don't dislike it however.



Wrote home.

_________________
Currently playing Caro.
"One who knows nothing of freedom has no reason to wish for it."