(OOC: there should be a post about this morning's events coming soon. needed to get something else out first. I just hope I get the characterization right. it's sort of important when trying to get the theme and the mood across when designing these...)


Transitory Transformations: And While One Weeps, Can They Smile Darkly Within


Seems despite the protests, the investigations, and the steady approaching of NEWTs and OWLs for students who started late in the year (for whatever reasons), the Ravenclaw Status Titans are on their relentless path to prove Ravenclaw superiority. Despite the initial efforts of the Prefects, these posters went up without a single individual caught. There were a few moments where the Prefects almost found one or two of those lurking through the halls at late hours, but it seems they are well organized. Some of these posters even have spells on them to render them more difficult to remove than before.

These posters have the logo of the Ravenclaw Status Titans on them in the top left corner. In the bottom right hand corner, there's the crest of Ravenclaw. But in the center... is a collage all about Seril Kane. It seems someone has an issue with Hufflepuff boys again. They just can't seem to buy a break with these ladies for some strange reason. There are even rumours that young Donald Chapman is on the hitlist of the Ravenclaw Status Titans, but nothing has been confirmed yet. Most of the pictures have Seril in various states of undress, mainly as he is known for his physical antics around the school grounds. The few with his shirt on are mostly with his female friends - especially Evie Cromwell, Sierra Tillery, and other Hufflepuff dames.

What is equally of interest is the border. Unlike most of the other posters, there is no real border to it. Instead, it is a list of just about every single person Seril Kane has been romantically linked to. It's not exactly a short list, and it apparently includes people he just kissed on a dare, dated once, and even hugged to console them. Of course, as all the names are in Cyrillic and backwards, one would have to be a cryptology specialist to figure that all out.

"Once more, we the members of the Ravenclaw Status Titans have sought to bring you the truth about a member of the student body of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As one might assume, we are looking into the social hijacking methods and immature antics of one Seril Kane, Hufflepuff Prefect. If nothing else, this little dissertation should prove beyond any shadow of doubt exactly what Hufflepuff students are good for... which is sadly not much that requires higher level intellect.

"If nothing else, Seril Kane enjoys his whimsy. In fact, one could say that he cultivates the lackadaisical lifestyle to a level that only a true connoisseur of being a slacker would understand. He has been known to drag more than a dozen students at any one time into his impromptu parties whether or not there are classes being run at that time. In fact, it is almost safe to say that he treats the entirety of Hogwarts as his personal playground. He has no self-restraint and has utterly no respect for the sanctity of education within our beloved school. That alone shows him as inferior.

"Another issue easily summoned to the fore is his lack of active involvement as a Ravenclaw. His actions concerning one Kylindra Valerine alone have been nothing short of deplorable. He has almost had her suspended on numerous occasions because of miniscule disagreements, and previously in her Fourth Year when Kylindra was obviously in need of assistance, Seril Kane was seen laughing it off and considering it all a joke. His natural reluctance to take responsibility extended farther than that, including more than a few incidents involving the school's infamous poltergeist, Peeves. How he was chosen to be a Prefect must have been one of three options: student least likely to do anything, student least competent, or a random drawing of straws from a broom. We of the Ravenclaw Status Titans are leaning strongly towards the third option.

"Seril Kane has been known for being a trickster, a prankster, and a mischievous miscreant. For an American, it is not that surprising he would wish to stand out in some way, but such behaviour is unseemly for a Prefect. Then again, he seems to take little serious enough to concern himself over outside of Quidditch, partying, and his relationship with Evie Cromwell. Anything outside of that is fair game. Perhaps that is the reason Ares Richard Keeferson amongst others has absolutely no respect or fear of him. If the worst your Prefect would do is make you play a game of jacks, how much could you possibly respect them in the first place? Seril Kane has the reputation of a five year old but the body of a twenty year old. A dangerous collection to anyone's sanity - Prefect, student, or professor. It is easy to see how his shenanigans managed to slide underneath the radar: he presents himself as completely harmless. Pity few see that he is also completely useless, but that we have addressed already.

"The capers of Seril Kane are numerous and naughty, but nothing says ne'er-do-well quite like the list of women (and men) he has broken the hearts of. Here we have at least twenty different people over seven years he has crushed mercilessly in an emotional fashion. And for what? His own selfish desires. He may not have been the first in the long line of Hvffle-slvts, but he was definitely one who defined the term. Those whom have followed in his footsteps have cemented Hufflepuff's place as being the easiest way to lose your reputation, your virtue, and your self-respect as a woman."

And here there is a list of twenty-seven people that Seril Kane has been associated with. There is even a legend beside the names, detailing what Seril is accused of for each. Out of the twenty-seven people only four of them are questionable. Every other person there has at bare minimum six witnesses. At least twelve of the students have long since left the school due to graduation, transfers, or early options for a career in the wizarding world.

"Seril Kane is a horrible person by default. His tomfoolery has gone unchecked only because he himself is believed to be harmless. The fact is, Hufflepuff's `Lazy Lionheart Lover' is a mange-ridden kitten who should have a wire brush taken to him. Clean him up, scour him off, and if there is anything worthwhile underneath the grunge of his attitude and his actions will it show then. It's time for the `Vivacious Varmint of Hufflepuff' to get a bath..."

_________________
One character thus far:
Ares Richard Keeferson, Hufflepuff Hardcase
Redefining "user-unfriendly" since 1976.

(OOC: this one comes out around seven o'clock in the evening. apparently, the posters just... appeared. if spells are used to examine the nature of the enchantment, it was a disillusionment spell that was cast at a certain time in order to fade right at seven o'clock. people strong in Defense Against the Dark Arts could then predict when the posters would have to have gone up. However, that beggars the question of what did the posters look like when they were going up to not be noticed?)


Halving Halverston: Conquering A City One Townhouse Complex At A Time


Once more, a poster goes up by the Slytherin Siren Seven. This one seems once more hastily made. There is little fancy about this one: a border of sworling greens, the background is a oily mixture of various blacks. The text itself is a sweet and gentle pastel pink. What is contained in the text, however, is by far no means kind or considerate. Apparently, one of the Slytherin Siren Seven has a bone to pick with someone... or numerous someones...

"This morning, we were disturbed to hear that one of our own, Carl af Liljesjö, wound up in the Hospital Ward after a verbal altercation with one Tom Summers of Gryffindor. As there are no reports of the attack itself, all we can go on are the facts of the argument itself. Apparently, Carl was having a pleasant enough discussion with Hufflepuff's resident paranoid pyromancer, Patrick Quigley. Though what that lurking fire-worshipping individual would have to add to any conversation is beyond us. Still, what we understand is that the conversation was primarily between the pair of them. This is where Tom Summers, brigand par excellence, decided to step in. And here, good people, is where the details get blurry.

"According to what we have gleaned, Carl and the older Gryffindor exchanged words about the value of... muggle-borns within Hogwarts and in general. Since Carl was obviously expressing the truth to the mislead Gryffindor, Summers found it necessary to raise the conversation to a more physical level. What else is know is that the Gryffindor blatantly stole Carl's wand from him. By the time another student arrived upon the scene, Carl was at the martial mercy of the Gryffindor, with only Patrick Quigley as an (obviously biased) witness to anything that would have transpired.

"Here is the part we found confusing in no short order: well known muggle-born and muggle-loving Hufflepuff Ares Richard Keeferson strode into this mess. What happened next were a few well-spoken words from Carl, some hostile commentary from Tom Summers, and then it was Keeferson who sent an owl for the Head Girl to arrive. Keeferson even expressed that such would be the best solution because `this keeps everything out in the open.' In short, Keeferson was in his own (and sadly, cowardly) way looking out for Carl. What is this? A muggle-born that knows his place at long last?

"Regardless, at this point the Head Girl arrived and all hostilities ended... at least between Carl and the Gryffindor thug at that time. There were, however, words exchanged between another student (who arrived to keep the peace, undoubtedly) and Keeferson. Keeferson obviously needs to learn from Carl how to properly phrase things in order to achieve his goals. Perhaps Carl can give the Canadian speech lessons so he doesn't always sound like some overgrown quintaped? We are still trying to figure out why it seemed Keeferson - a virtual poster boy for all things wrong with muggle-borns - would even concern himself with Carl af Liljesjö. More will come from us as we find the truth.

"Shortly thereafter, Keeferson and Carl were found knocked out by spell in the Hogwarts grounds. None of them recalled anything, but all fingers point to an ambush. There is no other reason for it. Carl had left the Entrance Hall with Keeferson willingly, showing there is some trust commonly held between them. So then, we must know who savagely attacked Carl af Liljesjö... and why there is a link between him and everything Hogwarts chooses to protect."

_________________
One character thus far:
Ares Richard Keeferson, Hufflepuff Hardcase
Redefining "user-unfriendly" since 1976.

A dense darkness surrounds Creed as he sits against one of the many trees that litter the front lawn of Hogwarts. The faint red flicker from the embers of his cigarette glows down onto the two new Slytherin Siren Seven posters. The first, of his friend and fellow House-mate. The second, while less meaningful as far as who was mentioned in the poster, rose more interest due to the reasoning and motive of the author.

A faint trail of whispy smoke drifts upwards as he takes a hearty drag. He exhales slowly after a brief period of letting the tobacco-filled smoke linger in his lungs.

He considers them both for a moment with an intense gaze before reading the first sheet, the one about Seril. Anger, distain, frustration, and confusion all paint his face during the read. After finishing, he can only sigh and shake his head before letting it fall back on his shoulders against the tree for a moment. He puffs on his 'smoke' again, filling the nighttime air with a ethereal wall of nicotine.

He lets his thoughts clear for a moment before continuing on to the second. A strange, almost defensive, storytelling tone is taken in the most recent, he notes. He shifts against the cool grass and furrows his brow as his throughts begin to run wild.

He's quickly called back into reality as his train of thought becomes derailed. A smattering of students casting and tackling one another calls his attention as he stands with a groan and approaches the group with a soft growl.

This note is posted on the Slytherin bulletin board:

"Dear Sirens,

I just realized something.

You know that coffee I said was Hufflepuff Blend? It turns out it wasn't. It was Kopi Luwak. My mistake, ladies.

Kopi Luwak, by the way, is THE most expensive type of Muggle coffee. It's so expensive because it's gathered from the natural habitat of civets in Sumatra. That's because the beans are collected from the fecal matter of the Asian Palm Civet, after it's eaten the berries. They take the beans that the civet shat out and turn it into expensive coffee.

Enjoy, gels.

Randell Coffey."

(ooc: let's see if I have anything new in me today. I wanted to do this up before I left for work, but I got caught up in something else instead. so hopefully this will be up to the standard I have apparently set for entertainment.)


Brandishing Baklavas: Carousing Has To End At Some Time


A new poster has gone up, once again from the Ravenclaw faction. This one is as simply done as many of the portraits within Hogwarts itself. The border is all Celtic runes, naming off the numerous goddesses of the Celtic mythos. The runes themselves are in a range of different browns, mimicing all the different wood types used for wands. The background itself is a dark blue of a shifting grading, what one would see at dusk itself while the moon was rising to take its place in the night sky. As for the text itself, it was done in a burnished bronze. For some reason, this poster is only found on the sixth and the third floors of the castle. There is nothing more significant about the placing of the posters for this "update."

"Welcome to another timely edition of our textual voice to your visual ears. As one may safely believe, we of the Ravenclaw Status Titans have not been silenced, despite our many detractors. Bringing the truth to your senses is our singular goal, for then will you know how far beneath us you are, and what mountains need you climb in order to reach anything remotely considered important. Lest one forget, we are here for your benefit. Without us, you would remain completely blind to the realities of the world around you. And we would be remiss in our duties if we allowed such to happen to you.

"Today, we have a most interesting topic: Hufflepuff's own Sierra Tillery. Normally, we would simply allow someone like her to fade into the obscurity that she so craves. However, due to the level of her connectedness, we cannot simply let her slip under the radar as so many have. Especially now, that she has not only dated one of our own, but corrupted him and others of Ravenclaw. This sort of offense cannot be forgiven or forgotten. And as such, we will make sure she is aware of her transgressions in all of their forms.

"The one thing we can congratulate her on is the shattering of that worthless piece of wasted magical material, Ares Richard Keeferson. Apparently, that rulebreaking, double-talking, murderous and backstabbing excuse of a human being believed he was above the laws of Hogwarts. Sierra Tillery, with a small legion of like-minded students, finally put him in his place. From what we understand, he went crying back to Hufflepuff with his proverbial tail between his legs. It is only a misery that it was not captured in visual form to present to the masses. Now if Sierra had only had excuse to strike him down, we might be a little more generous with her. Still, she did need to have her normal flock of boys around her in order to stand up to the Torontonian Terror. So in the end, it was not as great of a moment for her as it should have been.

"Sierra Tillery, if nothing else, is the base example of why certain girls should never be allowed to date. We would be more than happy to call her a Hvffle-slvt to join some of her Housemates, but such would be untrue. We can, though, clearly call her a fickle-minded serial monogamist. She has never been seen trying to date two boys at a time, even though one could easily suspect her of doing such. As well, she has always made it a point to make clear divisions between the boys she is dating. You know, Boy A on Monday, Boy D on Thursday, Boy H on Saturday, and so on. With the various pick of men she has had, one would have hoped some of their brains rubbed off on her, but that sadly was not the case.

"We truly hate it when a girl of any age sets back our collectively dignity, so we have no option but to loathe Sierra Tillery for her continued weepy-eyed ways. By this time, we calculate she has cried enough tears to fill the Parthenon if it was a solid stone box. If things do not go her way, she runs off and hides in her room like a spoiled child for hours or days. Even now, we suspect by the time she finishes the first paragraph here, her mewling and bawling will fill the corridors at the same volume of a werewolf's howl. Grow a spine, you silly mouthbreather. You were born a vertebrate - act like one.

"One might believe we are being unusually harsh with Sierra Tillery. We here know otherwise. She cannot walk into Professor Snape's line of sight without a comment or three. And from what we understand, she could easily do well inside of the Academy of London if she was willing to be -tutored- by a certain professor there. However, we hope that Sierra's standards would keep her from that route. She is not that desperate for grades, at least according to what we have seen for her attendance. Though when it comes to attention, she absorbs it like a sponge. Good, bad, as long as it comes from the male gender it's all taken in. It is almost enough to make us weep with sorrow. Do note, we did say almost.

"As time passes, Sierra Tillery has remained unchanged. A few broken hearts well deserved, a few boys left to rot on the vine, and a few goals she will never achieve. We should perhaps get her a crown and find a chaise for her to lay down upon like the muggle queen Cleopatra. Her ways, her dreams, and her voice all bore us now. She is similar to Roman Candles left in the torrential rains: once promising, now only worthy of trashing. You disappoint us, Sierra Tillery. You disappoint us highly. You could have been a leader, one to truly rule over your domain. Instead, you run with the pack and hope they do not turn on you like they have others in the past."

_________________
One character thus far:
Ares Richard Keeferson, Hufflepuff Hardcase
Redefining "user-unfriendly" since 1976.

Every single one of the posters mentioning Sierra Tillery had been torn down. Having spent nearly all night doing so, Tyson Swift was seen in the early morning hours disposing of any and all of the posters. Within hours they had been eradicated. Several more posters in his own handwriting had been put up.

"Leave Sierra Tillery alone. Otherwise you will have an entire army to deal with."

_________________
Πάνω απ 'όλα, φύλακας καρδιά σου, επειδή είναι η ανεξάντλητη πηγή της ζωής. Παροιμίες 4:23

(OOC: and... here... we... GO.)

A note is left on Tyson Swift's dormitory bed.

"Don't worry, little osprey. We haven't forgotten you. We will get to you after we get to Creed Wyldhart. And when we do, trying to defend Sierra Tillery will be the least of your worries. Your army does not scare us. Your army does not impress us. We originally were satisfied with hunting down the men of Hufflepuff because they present such tasty targets. You, however, shall we rend limb from limb verbally. After all, without your friends are you absolutely nothing. At least the insane one Keeferson was willing to stand alone against us. But as you should know, he is not long for this school... or for this continent. If we are not mistaken, you are far softer and delicate than he ever was. I wonder how you will taste roasted...?"


A note is left on Eric Goodrich's bed, with a singular eagle feather stabbing it to the mattress:

"Stop trying to play hero, Eric Goodrich. We know what you are in the end: a gutless, craven coward who wishes he were more like his younger brother. Stick to picking on the weak and worthless. Do not attempt to reach higher, for your knees are already stuck far in the quagmire of your own hubris. Your time within this school will come to an end soon, so graduate with a little dignity and keep your head out of the clouds where only birds are meant to fly."


A note is left on Randell Coffey's bed. Yes, they got into his ROOM. This, is something which should alarm any decent Slytherin...:

"You made that up about the beans, didn't you? If you did not, we will not stop at your pride (of which it seems you have none). We will go for your friends, your family, everything you believe in. And we will shred it all to pieces before you in every way possible. You are worse than a disgrace to Slytherin - you bring dishonour to every pureblooded mage in history. You... are worse than any mudblood melange of mankind could ever hope to achieve previously. We will destroy you utterly."


And finally, a note for Sierra Tillery:

"So... your little troupe of boys seeks to stop the truth from getting out? Amusing. Eric Goodrich, Tyson Swift, and how many others will rise to your defense? Seril Kane, Creed Wyldhart... but oh look? No Dante Lightfoot this time is there? And definitely no Ares Richard Keeferson. We wonder where shall the dark knight fall? But we doubt your little group shall concern themselves with one student. We mean, it is not as if he alone could make the difference between your being stomped flat in the social circle... or your being dragged through every single back alley that you've already visited on your knees whimpering for mercy that won't be coming? No... your friends have sealed your fate, little girl. We do hope you enjoy misery, because you are going to give it a lot of company..."


As for Creed Wyldheart, Seril Kane, and Keeferson himself? All of them received the exact same note:

Bang! Your next.

_________________
One character thus far:
Ares Richard Keeferson, Hufflepuff Hardcase
Redefining "user-unfriendly" since 1976.

On the bulletin board is a copy of the original note, and this response:

Do you, honestly, have so little to do that you want to go after me, and my family?

Gracious, I'm not that bad, really. Heck, I'm not even the only muggle-born in Slytherin. And no I'm not going to "out" them, so you harpies can get your claws into THEM too.

And as shocking as it may be I really was telling the truth about the coffee beans.

Now as gross as this may sound, it really isn't all that bad.

The beans are washed and roasted long before they are ever ground up into coffee.

So, what ever germs and bacteria on the beans that had been there when they were gathered has been killed by the heat of the roasting process.

Yeah I know, I deliberately went out of my way to make it sound as gross as possible. I apologize, sincerely.

I shall, however, commend you on your fine taste on coffee. My father gets only naturally -cough- processed Kopi Luwak, and it's more expensive than more common-place brands. So if you are connoisseurs of fine coffee, I can get some more for you, or put together a less stomach-turning sample pack for your enjoyment. There are a multitude of coffees out there that do not go through such a... unique flavor enhancement process, but you will have to pay for them.

Kopi Luwak is of course the most expensive, with some retailers charging $75 for a quarter pound. That's eight ounces, gels. Not very much, I can tell you.

If you're interested, I'm sure you'll contact me some how. If not, I'm sure you'll leave another nasty little missive on my pillow. Honestly, you should be searching for your twenty-fifth cousin twice removed to see if he's a good marriage prospect, rather than threatening me.

As fun as this little exchange has been I think I'm going to start ignoring you, now. All I'm doing is feeding your already overweight egos, and frankly, it's getting boring.

Ta, gals. Nice chatting with you.

RC.

(ooc: brand new bitterness from the old guy. currently going through my lists and finding it a bit difficult to continue the series on a day to day basis. so instead - as you all would have realized - they will be more on a spontaneous basis. considering I lost my list of characters, it'll be a bit of time before I start up fully once more.)


Colloquial Combustion: When People Made Spit Roasts Of People In Literary Fashion


This poster goes up without much fanfare at all... at first. There were more posters of this one created than almost any other outside of the one featuring Ares Richard Keeferson. The fact that only half of the posters remained after the third hour is easily understood as well, given the topic at hand. Especially as the topic was given the same treatment as a Ravenclaw Status Titan victim of recent note, Seril Kane.

Yes, Green takes Yellow once more. The Slytherin Siren Seven have made good on their word, and have taken a bite out of Hufflepuff's Taciturn Tower, Creed Wyldhart. And they've managed to completely outdo themselves this time. If it wasn't for the fact the images are all in public places (or blatantly labeled "artist's rendition,") one could easily call them stalkers. To be honest, it would be believable if they paid actual "Creed Crouchers" (as there seems to be a few of them) for some of the photographs.

Not a single one of the ten to fifteen pictures of Creed on the poster has him with a shirt on. None. There are shots of him on vacation, of Creed swimming, of Creed in the Forbidden Forest (or somewhere where there are trees), and so on. Sure, he has on jeans, or trousers, or a towel in the images, but that is about as many clothes as they leave him with. To give the images credit, they are actually very tasteful while still leaving jaws dropping. And by the end of the day, Creed would be receiving fan mail by owl, most of it reading things like "you can grouch at me any day!" (Some of it is blatantly not for public viewing.)

"Missed us? We definitely did not miss you, Creed Wyldhart. You knew we were going to sink our fangs into you, and what did you do? Nothing. Sitting there like a lump of clay waiting to be molded, or a block of marble aching to be chiseled out into something beautiful. Well, Mister `Wild At Heart,' we have come back for our prize. And that prize is your pride. You should have run away when we gave you the grand opportunity to. Since you proved to be far too stubborn and stupid, we will give you the verbal branding you so need to get kickstarted.

"Unlike many in the House of Hufflepuff, Creed Wyldhart has proven himself to be, if nothing else, bitter. And when we say bitter, we mean entirely unlike the happy-go-lucky fools and blindly blithering sheep that normally come out of Hufflepuff. If it was not for the fact his bloodline is absolutely useless, it could have been believed he was a misplaced Slytherin. However, as his blood is as rich as topsoil to a vampire, we know where he belongs - in the pits with the rest of the trash.

"One thing that can be said about Wyldhart, is that he knows how to rile others. It is called -conversation- for him. The short answer king, one could almost believe it is due to his lack of vocabulary, or a terror of speaking to his betters. Of course, the answer is neither of those. He is just too lazy to carry a sentence of longer than five words on his tongue without impetus. One would need to prod him with a pointy stick to read out a paragraph in class. (In fact, we have a picture of just such an event, but decided to keep it to ourselves.)

"Many student fear Creed Wyldhart, because of some myth that he could actually carry his own in a duel or in open combat. Please, children, remember one thing. Creed Wyldhart is a Hufflepuff. And as you all should know by now, Hufflepuff is Latin for `target practice.' He is a mere whelp pretending to be a mage when it comes to true sorcery, and that is proven by the fact he has yet to try a real challenge, such as O'harison Cablesphen from the Academy of London or Reykjamir Voltairovich from Durmstrang. Both of these accomplished student duelists have stated they will take on anyone from any school in friendly competition, and yet the wand of Creed Wyldhart has remained silent. To any real practictioner of magic, that speaks volumes.

"Creed also has horrible tastes in friends. Most of them read like the peanut gallery we have been slowly flicking into the Thames: Sierra Tillery, Seril Kane, Eric Goodrich, Kris Marner and quite a few more we have yet to get to. (Sierra may have been pecked by the birds, but we'll be more than happy to finish her off later.) If he was even attempting to be a social climber, he would have fallen straight down into the quicksand of socialite sins and just sank like a stone. Really, Creed, if you were going to go down that fast, the least you could do was lick our boots clean along the way. You may look good on your knees and such, but all we are going to do is kick you over.

"Creed Wyldhart is as great of a failure as one could get. If he had been born into a better family, perhaps there could have been hope for him. Though you cannot choose your family, you can always choose to divorce yourself from them and admit to your lower status early. That way, perhaps a kindly soul from a real wizarding heritage could have taken pity on you. You actively chose not to take that route, Creed, so feel free to wallow in your misery like the little swineherd you are. Take this as personal as you wish, for in the end are you nothing, were you nothing, and shall you forever be nothing... except for eye candy. It has to be the one thing we cannot take from him. At least he LOOKS good. Which is more than what we can say for the majority of that House."

_________________
One character thus far:
Ares Richard Keeferson, Hufflepuff Hardcase
Redefining "user-unfriendly" since 1976.

(ooc: going to see if I have one more in me for this morning. figure I should try to write now, before I lose all my impetus. I did have something specific in mind, so perhaps I'll contact the player again before going through with everything. Until then, I should get to another promised target...)


Underneath Everything: When What Lay Buried Comes To Surface At Last


Another poster goes up later in the day. Once again, this one has widespread distribution, but nothing close to the ones for Creed Wyldhart and Seril Kane. However, these ones stay up longer, as people actually start signing this particular victim's posters in support. Though what is truly interesting, is that the support is not only for the target, but some of it is for the Slytherin Siren Seven. Apparently their movement is gaining momentum after all.

The poster is much like their older works, with a proper border, matte background, and clearly visible font. The border for this one is a braid of woven shades and tints of bronze and gold. The background itself looks like someone plastered the entire poster with oil first, giving it a truly "wet" look. (If touched, the poster will be completely dry. However, if one knows the right spell or spells, they can "move" the oil slicks around on random posters. This made more than a few "collectors editions.") As for the writing itself? It was a light green with hues of blue thrown in around the edges of all the capital letters.

"We could not leave our darling public hanging, without sending another wretched boy swinging. So then, whom shall we of the Slytherin Siren Seven drag to the park kicking and screaming today. Oh, we already had a volunteer who decided to comment on the Raven Status Titans. Not that we are afficianados of those who duplicate our style, but they did have a most suitable choice the other day. So then, Tyson Swift, welcome to our parlour. And yes, you are staying... as dinner.

"Tyson Swift, what can we say about him that people do not already know. We mean, if nothing else, he has been quite public with about everything (and everyone) that he does. And to make things even more interesting, the people love him and almost worship him on a regular basis. It makes us nauseous to see such a fool frolicking friviously in such a fashion without fear or forboding. This cannot be allowed to continue, mainly as we want to see him sobbing in the halls once again.

"Oh yes, true believers, Tyson Swift is a weeping willow if nothing else. The little tawdry tell-all wears his heart on his sleeve. More the idiot he for not realizing how fast he'll get torn up by doing such a thing. After five years of going to Hogwarts, he has learned absolutely nothing about how to protect his own emotions. If it was not for the fact he is a pureblood wizard, this would be acceptable cretinism. Since he is, all we can say is this is pathetic... as is he.

"What else can we say about the blueblood within the Blue House of Birds? He pines to be something better than what he is? If you see whom he has associated himself with over the years, one can see a trend. And what is that trend, those not as observant as we are would cry out? One word alone: strength. Strength of mind, strength of body, strength of character. It is something Tyson Swift sorely lacks, and not even steroids could help him. Perhaps if someone ripped out the mush in his back stick a few basilisk bones in there to give him a spine? No, his body would reject them for being too stiff and rigid. Really, no punchline is needed here.

"Tyson seems to love traveling. We would say he loves to avoid having to deal with the mess his life is in. He leaps from person to person, hoping to find something to keep him from flying away in the storm. And some of those choices have been questionable at best. We could go into his rather convoluted dating history, but it would make as much sense as trying to milk an erumpent. Anyone that could make sense of that would obviously be a shoo-in for a Divinations N.E.W.T., as only the gods themselves have a clue as to what Tyson's looking for in a person. We know he's been attached to Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and at least one Gryffindor in his time here at Hogwarts. Maybe his next love interest will be from Beauxbatons? Or perhaps someone buff and burly from Durmstrang? Only time will tell, really, as nothing ever lasts with him.

"For a pureblooded wizard, he is embarassingly weak when it comes to sorcery. He may as well be a muggle-born. (See? We can use the term, even though everyone knows how dirty muggle-borns are, yes?) The most we have seen him do is a few cantrips and turn invisible. Disillusion must be in his blood stream for the amount of times he must use it in a day. Trying to keep himself from being seen while alone, in order to avoid the natural order of things. Eventually, he will be all alone. He cannot stand around Kris Marner and -that other Ravenclaw- all the time with that stupid grin on his face. Without others around him, Tyson swift is virtually powerless. All he has at that point is money and good looks. And neither of those impress us nearly as much as he would hope.

"Tyson Swift, you are a slower than a drowsing dragon, and about as dangerous as a pickled puffskein. Give it up. You are no wizard. You are barely even a man. You need to find some place to sit down and have a good cry, princess. We'll send you back your gown and glass slippers after we've finished with them. Don't worry, they'll even still fit. Just stop lying to yourself about being better than what you are - which is nothing. You aren't. You never were. You never will be."

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One character thus far:
Ares Richard Keeferson, Hufflepuff Hardcase
Redefining "user-unfriendly" since 1976.

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Shacadia Shay - seventh year
Aiden Rose Black - third year
Charlotte Alexis Grey IV - third year
Shilo Carter - first year

(ooc: yes, I am going to try to post something up. and no, I don't care if it takes me all day to do even a single paragraph. I've been lax about this and I've just not been inspired. heck, even now I am not, so I'll just phone in something...)


Spicy Sanguimancy: The Last Thing Anyone Would Expect From The First Voice Of Chaos


It seems that after a week of virtual silence, the Ravenclaw Status Titans have decided to come back to the frontlines. With beaks sharpened and talons polished, they have taken aim at a brand new student. Many in the halls noticed these new posters all arrived exactly two days before the Northern Ireland's public holiday on the twelfth of July, but didn't show anything until this day. The background for the poster is a deep and rich green, and the lettering is all in orange. Those in the know wonder exactly why such a choice was made, considering whom their target is.

The Ravenclaw contingent has chosen to target yet another Hufflepuff, one Jacob Green. It seems Hufflepuff's best known harmonomancer has aroused the attention of the Ravenclaw Status Titans, and not in the best of ways either. Given their previous "reviews" Of Hufflepuff students, nothing good could possibly come from this latest poster. The locations of this poster are haphazard at best, as if those putting them up were unsure of where they ought to go.

"The silence shall be broken, and just in time to corral a copper-coloured crooner. It seems that certain members of Hufflepuff never seem to learn their place in the world. Almost as if they believe they can climb from the depths of Dispater's dungeons to the frolic in the Elysian fields with Nike and Demeter. One more time, must we push them back down Mount Olympus and see them stumble and fall, shattering their falsified dreams with hard reality. And today, this Hufflepuff is Jacob Green.

"If there is anything we cannot take away from him, is that he can sing. Yes, we must give him that, as he has done the proper Hufflepuff thing and worked very hard to achieve his musical talent. Now then, if he had not been so busy fooling around with a six-string guitar and paid more attention in class, perhaps he would also be a competant wizard. Instead, we have a brilliant musician and truly abysmal sorcerer. His parents must be proud.

"He apparently wishes to become more than a mere strumming simpleton, however. He is aiming to become the next Professor Gilderoy Lockhart. With his face and his music turning up everywhere, even our mothers have heard of Jacob Green. Though we must admit, they are far less inclined to listen to his crooning and wailing than women of a younger generation. We did notice a few other mothers rushing to have the compact disks for their daughters signed by the smiling male strumpet. We also noticed where the man of the hour's eyes tended to wander towards.

"Jacob Green, you are a lecher of a classic order.

"Considering your current choice of career, perhaps we should not have expected all that much from you. For a student the younger Hufflepuffs - those Baby Badgers of yours to look up to, the only reason they could need to is your height. We have pondered why so many of the Hufflepuff `leading men' are so tall, and we have come to a conclusion: overcompensation for your limited cognitive capabilities. In other words, you are too stupid to survive if you were a physical midget along with being a mental one. We have even begun to wonder if you have used your harmonomancy over the past few years in subtle forms to sway the decisions of certain professors to -let- you actually pass courses.

"Maybe we are being overly harsh. Maybe we are being unusually cruel. Maybe one of your Housemates really does have a meth lab in the dungeons somewhere. (You know exactly whom we are refering to, Jacob Green. Don't kid yourself.) It is a possibility, but it is not very likely. There are far more things to look upon you with critically and disparingly, and we are going to shine as much light upon you as your tanned form than take before you scurry back under the stones you came from.

"We have decided to do a little research on the name of this rather aggravating yellow-clad mercurial minstrel, and have found something rather interesting. In its entirety, his name could be translated to "May God protect the Defender of Man who will spread good health and Nature's blessings." Given that his main subject is Herbology (like so many Hufflepuffs who want to get in good with their Head of House), that would make sense. But does that mean he has to try so hard at being `earthy' in order to convince girls he is actually a catch of any merit? And what was up with that pirate phase of his? Really, the least he could have done was rattle a real sabre around...

"Finally, Jacob Green, we have to address your perennial singular status. Sure, we have touched upon it previously, but this is an issue which we have kept alert about for years. There are three things you should learn how to do in order to finally find yourself a girlfriend. First: get over your inflated ego. We suggest putting it through a blender and feeding it to ravenous fwoopers. Second: learn to do more than sing for your supper. A midnight serenade is nice, but it will never put food on the table as securely as learning a real trade. And third, and most importantly: acknowledge the fact women are smarter than you give them credit for. Heck, realize that women are smarter than you are, period.

"We can prove it.

"Jacob Green, your songs are fine but your behavior is not. You are not one of The Weird Sisters, and we do not excuse -them- for their failings, either. Correct yourself, or be corrected again... by us. You have been notified."

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One character thus far:
Ares Richard Keeferson, Hufflepuff Hardcase
Redefining "user-unfriendly" since 1976.

(ooc: aiming for two in a single day. I've done it before, and I'll do it again. I need to keep my thread alive! *laughs* seriously though, I think I have another one of these "social commentaries" in me. first time I've felt confident enough to post something of this nature in a while.)


Stolen Thievery: And All Angels Alive Weep Whispers Whether Wanting Weather Or Woe


Another one of the Ravenclaw Status Titans posters appears on the day after the first one. These ones are also distributed in an erratic matter throughout the school. In the usual style of "The Mean Titans" (as one muggle-born Gryffindor dubbed them), the poster's background is a sweeping blue backdrop. The picture is an oceanscape, complete with various underwater scenery such as a submerged barquentine, a massive coral growth, and what looks like the bones of a fallen whale. A lot of care went into the background for this poster. Maybe it was an art project they chose to convert? The one interesting thing about the distribution is these posters are found nowhere near any of the other currently remaining Ravenclaw Status Titans posters.

The script for this poster seems to be handwritten calligraphy, such is the delicate touch of the lettering. The prose within, of course, is anything but soft and sweet. The words themselves are all done in a rather bold shade of silver with unscoring of brass. As for bordering, the sides are done up as if with coils of hemp rope. The entire production is quite amazing, really. It is such a shame that they are apparently hanging another Hufflepuff verbally with all those cords.

"We have been far too sweet and gentle to the members of Hufflepuff this week. Next week, we shall finally take our perlustration to the Houses of Gryffindor and Slytherin once more. For now, however, Hufflepuff's blazing yellow continues to draw our attention. It is like watching a flight of canaries landing on a patch of freshly mulched grass - you cannot help but see them. But unlike a serpent stalking through the silt, we bring warnings instead of deadly tidings.

"The young man known as Donald Chapman has long been allowed to fly under the radar in comparison to his older (or more chaotic) Housemates. Please note, he has never been lost in the shuffle of wild cards. We have always crimped his corner, just for a rainy day. So it seems today is when the umbrellas must come out, as he is about to receive a storm of scrutiny created just for him. After all, someone with a voice as active as his should be used to strange stares and cold shoulders.

"Donald, for lack of a better term, is a loudmouth. Not in that callous, cruel way that some unimaginative people are who enjoy bullying with volume. No, Donald talks far too much about people he knows far too little about. Not that we have not found such entertaining in the past, but it is a tragic failing of his. We strongly believe it comes from that feeling of emptiness he must have within when comparing himself to any Ravenclaw. It is almost as if his religion dictates there must be as few moments of silence within thirty feet of him at all times.

"He also acts like the muggle version of the remora: attaching himself to whomever is more powerful at the time. He has traipsed behind the coattails of numerous students, from Eric Goodrich to Jacob Green, not to mention numerous older female students from almost all Houses. If he were older, we would have him pegged for a sycophant. Still, he shows enough backbone to make Sierra Tillery look like an invertebrate. (Although that doesn't take much work, especially as of recent.) Perhaps if they all shooed him away at once, mayhaps Donald Chapman would finally work on getting his own life. It is always a thought, at least to us.

"We are able to give him credit on one thing: he does not know how to slow down his superiors. If they tell him to keep up, he will find a way to do so. Just like a proper House Elf, or so one of our associates stated on a few different occasions. Though teaching him new tricks and reminding him of the old ways would be virtually wasted on such a youth. He will only learn by example - and by example, we mean he will have to get used to being a human guniea pig and target block. We do not fathom any other way for him to learn.

"The one time we can see a true difference between Donald and the rest of his House is in his upbringing. Normally we would not comment on such a personal matter, but it is quite clear in his phrasing alone he fully expects to see grimy street urchins on the roads leading to Hogsmeade, or hoodlums with haunted looks stumbling through Diagon Alley at all hours of the early morning. What sort of breeding would give a student of Hogwarts such a base view of the world? We can tell you easily: he is from the wrong side of the tracks. Talking about laboratories filled with illict chemicals and miniscule plastic satchels, what were we supposed to think? What could he end up doing with real power at his fingertips?

"Allowing such a young man as Donald Chapman to roam around Hogwarts unsupervised is a mistake. And there are those who would agree with us. Eventually, `little Donnie' (as some of his associates we've observed call him) is going to grow up. And with that Lancaster lagabout mentality still drilled within him, we do not have any hopes for how he will develop as a wizard. Slackers and wastrels are one thing, but this one has the best possibility of becoming far worse merely by falling back into old habits."

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One character thus far:
Ares Richard Keeferson, Hufflepuff Hardcase
Redefining "user-unfriendly" since 1976.

(ooc: going to see if I can do this all without a net to catch myself... in any case, I'll try to post one or two more of these this week. one tomorrow and one on Saturday. been meaning to be more regular again, but it seems that live and motivation are not agreeing with me.)


Scoring Successions - As The Clock Ticks Away, Will The Mice Play With Their Ill-gotten Cheeses


Though the days have been relatively quiet, the devious minds of the Slytherin Siren Seven have apparently been hard at work. Releasing a brand new poster, they have made it a point for it to be close to just about all the high traffic areas regularly used by students: the Great Hall, the bathrooms, and the entryways to the four various Common Rooms. The posters themselves have been put onto the walls with a Permanent Sticking Charm. It seems whomever did this happens to be a very good student in Professor Flitwick's class... or is just using these posters for Charms practice. Either way, removing these ones is going to be a notable pain if nothing else. The posters themselves are not coated with anything caustic or toxic, so placing bare fingers on them is not going to be risky.

It seems today's target is one of the Valerine sisters: Kylindra Valerine. The poster's borders have been done in Gaelic, quoting an ancient rhyme concerning a regular washer woman who sought to argue with a powerful seeress. The rhyme is rather ornate in the script chosen, sparkling with silver as if it was encrusted with fragments of gemstones and/or glass shards. The rhyme is not written to its original conclusion, ending rather with "and without a shout/ without a scream/ the dueling duo/ fell through a seam..." The background of the poster is a very deep green with shimmering black shadowing. The script of the poster itself is a creamy alabaster.

"Unlike those whom wander the halls like sheep, we of the Slytherin Siren Seven have been stalking our prey carefully. We have two more to tuck into with our fangs before this rush is over, so be looking for the next installments. Observing the bleating masses, we have noticed that there are a few vapid quadrupeds who need to be shorn of their locks. And when we say that, we mean they need to have their false airs stripped from them and burned in the bonfire of their worthless lives. This time around, we have a Ravenclaw in our sights who should have been expelled for bad taste if nothing else long ago: Kylindra Valerine.

"For a Birdbrain, she's not all that bright when it comes to boys. We mean, really now: Allanon Majere? Maybe we've commented on this before, but it deserves to be said: use your head when finding a mate, ladies. If not, you could end up like Kylindra here. Abandoned long before the altar for a foolish quest for what? Power? Vengeance? Better hair? Please, a real woman would have known how to handle that situation: blast the addle-brained boy in the head a few times with a memory spell... and a few other spells to knock some sense into him. What does she do? Fold in on herself and go mental for a few weeks.

"Rank amateur. She should have been demoted to Hufflepuff for such a lack of forethought.

"Another one of her problems is her choice of friends. She counts people like Randell Coffey and that lionfish-kissing lagabout Keeferson as bosom buddies. The further you go down the line, the worse it gets. Eventually, you have to consider what sort of chemicals the woman has to be on in order to stand them. She must not have a sense of smell, given the amount of offal which spews from the mouths of most Hufflepuffs. (It is also the reason they do so well in Herbology: they have their own source of manure to help their plants grow.)

"From what has been seen, she fancies herself a powerful sorceress. We have seen kittens with more potency than she has. Sure, she can make fancy lights and even light a match with her wand. Can she do anything else? Hardly. Our collective pinkies are more magically inclined that her entire body. Perhaps in a few dozen years she can learn how to shine shoes with her robes, or clean out garbages with her wand. After all, that is all her magic is good for: becoming a scullery maid for her betters. Any time she has needed to count on her sorcery, it has failed her. She could not keep her own boyfriend from straying, and she definitely could not save her own sister from herself.

"If this is the future of Ravenclaw, the House Founder must be rolling in her grave and mourning the besmirching of her good name.

"And the last thing is Kylinda Valerine seems to enjoy playing on both sides of the fence. She is not the first Ravenclaw to do such a thing, nor will she be the last. We just had hopes she would choose a far better `rebound date' than whom it is she's latched onto. In that, she is just like her sister: hopeless. She would be far wiser going it alone and choosing a suitably warm body when the needs struck her again. Yes, that would make her nothing more than an emotional vampire, but at least she would be honest about it to everyone. Instead, she has this mockery of a relationship based on nothing less than emotional co-dependency, insecurity, and magical incompetancy. Truly, they are made for each other. `-Two magpies sitting on wire, waiting to fall into the fire.-'

"Kylindra Valerine, take your bad hair home and drag the rest your miserable life with you. All you do is chew up the landscape with every step you take. The magical world will be a far better place when you drop out of Hogwarts and go back to the back alleys you came from. Seriously, leave now before we have to get out the Aguamenti Cannons. Your time in this school has wasted the opportunities of who knows how many proper students of sorcery."

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One character thus far:
Ares Richard Keeferson, Hufflepuff Hardcase
Redefining "user-unfriendly" since 1976.

(OOC: attempting a new one! I know I should have started this around 8:00am this morning, but I was busy waking up and trying to make potions for my character. no matter, as this one should not be my swan song. regardless, thanks to you all who have given me cause to take up writing again.)


Cataract Calamities: Seeing What Cannot Be Heard, Listening To What Cannot Be Viewed


Like clockwork, another poster from the Slytherin Siren Seven has arrived. In the morning, right at 10:20am, the posters become visible. Most of them are placed in areas that are not often frequented by the teachers... or the students, in fact. Which explains the fact they are slightly larger than most of the previous releases by the Slytherin Siren Seven. The quality of the posters are not quite up to their usual standards, which explains the increased size as well.

The borders are actually images of their current target in various poses - all of them in sepia. The pictures were all taken with a wizarding camera, but the posters themselves leave the images as stills. The target is shown to be quite attractive in all of the shots taken of her. Obviously, the photographer was intent on capturing their target at their candid best. This is someone who takes pride in their work, blatantly, even if the miniature captions underneath are far less than flattering. All of them try to make the young woman out to be some sort of craven coward if nothing else. And the person in the crosshairs of the Slytherin Siren Seven this time? Aridella Blaze.

"And before you think we only take aim at moronic Hufflepuffs and catatonic Ravenclaws, we have a brand new Gryffindor to sacrifice on the altar of antipathy. That's right, you poor and unfortunate legions, we have one of the `heroes of Hogwarts' on the slab. Though we really wanted to get one of the beefy bruisers strapped down to the Table of Textual Torment, we were only able to catch the weakest of the herd today. Perhaps tomorrow we'll have larger prey to feast on. For now, the splindly-legged excuse of a snippet Aridella Blaze will just have to do.

"To begin with, she has been a thorn in the side of fashion-conscious young women since she showed up here. We have seen worse frocks before, but not such a succession as she has turned up with. For someone who apparently is from a grand line of sorceresses and witches, she has definitely proven that heritage means nothing when it comes to knowing how to dress one's self. We would have granted her some assistance, but it is far more appropriate to point and laugh at the carriage wreck when it presents itself.

"Let us see what other crimes she has committed against Hogwarts - or more importantly, against Slytherin sensibilities. Oh yes, there was that misfortunate series of circumstances people would consider her romantic endeavours. One has to hope she hasn't picked up something from the boys she has chosen to involve herself with. You know, things such as chronic stupidity, incessant whining, or (our personal favourite) leprosy of morality. You all know that one: where you continually drop your morals in various locations around the castle to try to get to someone you want. Oh wait, she did those all on her own. We surmise she'll be just fine then. After all, what else could she possibly catch, right?

"Perhaps she has some good qualities we could mention. Still, if we did that, we wouldn't be true to ourselves here. Therefore we'll return to form and tuck into something else quite amusing: her weight. Not very many people know that she is not naturally that thin. Of course, not really much about Aridella Blaze is natural to begin with. She's too pale, too skinny, and far too tall to be anything short of a vampire's little harlot. Which, of course, would explain her choice in men. Though the day she finds herself a good little boy worthy of taking, we'll be sure to abscond them from her. After all, we can't have the little pasty thing -happy,- now can we?

"Unlike the Valerine siblings, the Blaze sisters at least have one Slytherin. Though to be honest, she's not much of a Slytherin. Though she is far more Slytherin than Aridella here is Gryffindor. Once again, she should be demoted to Hufflepuff as soon as possible. They need more prophetic and pathetic losers like her there. Maybe some of their better students - they, of course, being Hufflepuff - could be resorted into a real House in exchange. Aridella Blaze is the classic example of Gryffindor cowardice: always hiding behind others when something happens, never in the forefront to aid her fellow students, unable to get a good grade in Defense Against the Dark Arts... You know, that sort of thing. Her boggart would probably turn into a mirror or a pink fluffy bunny.

"We could talk about her spectacular spellcraft, but we would be lying. She may not be in the same class as Sierra Tillery with her mishaps, but she definitely would not be winning any awards - even for mediocrity. She's horrible even at being hopelessly average. We never thought we would say it, but... we feel bad for Aridella Blaze being herself. She'll never escape the shame and dishonour it must be being her. Her parents must be hiding away in Montenegro or El Salvador to try to cover the stench up of how bad she is. More than likely, they would have to trigger a landslide in order to get enough soil to bury that. Would end up being the most fertile graveyard of someone's magical career we have seen in a while if nothing else...

"We would weep for her, but we find it far better to just point and laugh. Often. And we here at the Slytherin Siren Seven suggest you do so as well. After all, if Aridella Blaze works that hard at proving herself a bad example at all hours of the day, why not take advantage of the free show? Not as if anyone would waste their time trying to pick her up out of the mire. She wants to wallow with the piglets and toads, by all means we'll walk on her back and keep our pertyon-leather pumps in pristine condition."

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One character thus far:
Ares Richard Keeferson, Hufflepuff Hardcase
Redefining "user-unfriendly" since 1976.